Your eyes. gosh. From the first moment I saw them, I knew I was in trouble. And you were so friendly. Seemed a bit shy at first. I think “shy” is my type.
Starting a new job is scary. I don’t like being “the new girl”. I didn’t know anyone there. We had two shifts together. That’s all it took for me to fall for you. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always looked at peoples lips when they talk. The eye contact is too much. But now, because we’re wearing masks when we’re working I can’t do that. So I look at your eyes. And they make me weak. Your gaze is intense. There’s something here. I feel it. You feel it too right? So I casually flirt with you. Nothing too obvious. You flirted with me too.
You were done with your shift 30 minutes before mine. You came over and stood by me, making a list while we talked. I thought you looked a bit nervous. I thought you were going to ask me for my number. I would’ve given it to you. I asked you when you were working next. Turns out we were both working the day after but you had the morning shift and I had the afternoon one. You laughed said that it sucked because you wouldn’t have anyone to talk to during your shift.
We had an overlap of 90 minutes. I came in earlier so I could talk to you. Just you. I blowdried my hair because I think you like my hair. I got to work and couldn’t see you anywhere and I didn’t want to ask anyone about you. I’m new. I didn’t want them to know I liked you. That’s who I would become “the new girl who likes (you)”. I started my shift and thank god for the masks, no one could see how upset I was that I didn’t see you. Where were you? Our 90 minutes were running out. I wasn’t scheduled to work for the rest of the week. I didn’t know when I would see you next. I already planned out the conversation we’d have when I saw you. 60 minutes pass, I still didn’t see you anywhere. I gave up. I figured they changed your schedule and you weren’t working today. My heart sank. I wouldn’t get to see you for a while. Then just before your shift was supposed to end, I saw you. And then I saw her. You didn’t see me. You walked with her to buy something and went to pay for it. Then you left. On your way out I looked at you and you saw me. You waved and I had the quick conversation I planned out while she stood behind you. Waiting. You gave me a small laugh. And you looked uncomfortable. She smiled behind you and said bye to me. And you left. With her. I watched both of you walk to your car and drive off.
The rest of my shift went by in a blur. I couldn’t wait to get home. I felt stupid. So stupid. We never spoke about being in relationships. You were being nice and friendly to the new girl. I thought you were flirting with me too. I thought you felt something too. Did I really just imagine all of that? Did I say something that put you off? I’ve replayed all the conversations we’ve had together, every glance from across the room and every moment you looked at me and I felt the butterflies in my stomach. I haven’t felt like that in the longest time. I almost forgot what that was like.
I don’t know when I’ll see you next. I don’t know how to act around you now. For my good, I need to distance myself from you. But how can I? When all I want is to look at you and I want you to look at me. With those gorgeous eyes.