overwhelming

i’m feeling overwhelmed asf.
too much to clean, too much to pay, too much to think about.
i’m tired.
i’m sick.
i’m fucking over trying to keep my full time job happy, myself happy, him happy, all at once during a pandemic while society is anything but falling a part.
worldly issues have me depressed on top of being depressed.
i’m not sure how to pause the cycle, nonetheless fucking stop it.
i miss my dad.
i miss my friends.
i miss my life.
i miss being a child, not worrying about where i’m going to find my next $20 to make ends meet.
i miss being a teenager, getting high with my favorite people surrounded by nothing but love and laughter.
i miss January of 2020, only 8 months ago but it feels like a lifetime.