It’s such a shame. There is most certainly a tragedy here. I said what I said for peace, not because you are deserving of It. You weren’t. But how long would I let you think you had the upper hand? Even though you did. Even though sadly , I let you have it. The worst part is that never should have happened. You are just not who I thought you were. You are not who you led me to believe you are.
Oh and I lied. I said I am ok with it all now and I sounded fairly good, didn’t I ? It is only because I have no choice. I choose me. I should have chosen me all along. I see what you do. What you are still doing. Seeking an endless supply of attention. How many women can make you feel like you’ve still got it, throw you a bone. How many can you get into bed? How many can you con like you did me? The possibilities are endless , because there isn’t an iota of thought in you for who is on the receiving end and what your shit does to them. Only how you feel, how you benefit , how you get your needs met.
I could never be like you and I am so beyond happy for that. I truly care how I treat others. It’s important to me. For you, they are only casualties of your war. The war inside your head that you deny to others exists. You divulge nothing, making it seem like everything is ok. You imply that if life weren’t so tough on you with responsibility, you’d be great. You make it everyone else’s fault, then fill the emptiness with attention, the women, the lies. Instant gratifications that are fleeting , or faking real substance only to tear into the soul of someone who truly wants to be there. Once you’ve killed and captured the prey, game over.
Yes, there is a tragedy. It was for me anyway. That this is how you are comfortable living and I let you catch me. I thought I would be loved. Instead it’s as if you cut off my head and mounted it on the wall with the rest of the forgotten trophies. It really was game. I was game.