Things I couldn’t tell you

Dear K,
I don’t know where to begin. You were a stain on the fabric or society. You were an avid, proud drug addict (only using pity when you could use it to manipulate others), you were a piece of shit mother to your multiple kids…none of which you had custody of. You were surrounded by amazing people bending over backwards to make concessions for you…but you blamed them for every 8 ball up your nose, syringe in your vein, or pull down the hatch.

What happened to you, you completely deserved. You were never going to be a good human being. You were always going to be a manipulative junkie crashing on people’s couch. You had a fiance. He was wealthy and older, and you manipulated him with his heart and he took you in and tried to help you.

But you didnt want help
You wanted an sugar daddy.

You were in your early 30s when you had a heart valve transplant. Something you didnt need if you had chose to live your life right and not become the party girl you tried to maintain much long after everyone else and after your body gave up.

You were in medical rehab with a pic line bc you couldn’t stop doing drugs. Even when your choices to not heal from your surgery landed you…so young….in a nursing home so they could monitor you and make sure you were trying to get better from your complications from surgery, you sat your skanky ass on any man that could sneak drugs into you. You overdosed while in the nursing home numerous times. You tried to seduce my husband and then had the nerve to tell me, a mom to young children that I raised myself, a mom who chose not to be a junkie …a mom who knows she wouldn’t end up on the wrong side of a consensual 3 way with drug dealers for your drug of choice…and then getting beat almost to death by the drug dealers bc you were trash to them.

You had 2 chances to start over and straighten yourself out. When they found you barely breathing and unconscious behind a dumpster, and when your jobless, junkie ass had to have a heart valve transplant. So many better people with meaningful lives to live deserved those chances more than you, and you just threw them away bc all you wanted was to get high again and not care who you fucked over to get it. You didnt care about anyone in your life…they were all means to get drugs or money for drugs. You stole children’s network donations, a young woman credit card, and countless other thefts. But you still wanted to come at people like you were special and above them.

The day you died, I never felt like anyone else deserved more to leave this earth and finally let their family and children to not have your bullshit hang around your neck. Its heartbreaking that you call yourself a mom, yet wouldn’t lift a finger to get better to finally be a mom to your kids. But I’m sure that’s someone else’s fault too.
Deep down, at night before your family falls asleep, they probably thank god that he took you, bc that was the only way your family could have peace.

You did everyone a favor by leaving this earth.


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