Dear sis,
You have been a constant in my life from my very first breath. For reasons unknown to me, that has made me n your life, hard. And confusing. Mom says you’re jealous. You always have, been. I know your rules. You know that I know then. I also know your consequences. I am not supposed to have or be in any way better than you, when you judge it. You judge it. And I know how you judge it. Mom thinks I’m winning, in your eyes. I have what you don’t but what you want. It’s to the forefront right now. I see your codependency and to me it is a way to have control. Your rules for, me: no friends. Only you. Something to be causing me pain, such as a daughter on another coast. Your girl(s) seeing me in the way that you do. You are to be the first choice. Don’t choose Mel. One, sister is all ther is room for. Consequences: CUT OUT. Readjustment. Oh this is how it is. I am weary of this. I’ve worked hard to have a relationship with you. I need to step back right. Now. And ow. Because yes it hurts. But it was awfully nice for people to like us. Happy we were there. Not in the way. Not taking up too much air. Or space. Or love. Scarcity sucks and was what you knew because it WAS actually scarce. But 59myears is enough time to have spent apologizing for having come along and, caused, scarcity. You knew it. So instead of dealing with it you work to control it. And me. But it’s done. I’m too, tired. I love you. You are my sister. But energy needs to, flow. Other ways other directions.

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