Keri – KDS not KDO

Dear Keri (insert birth name here) KDS not KDO,

This is the last letter I will post on this site. It was intended as a private journal. My cowardice was an enormous error and I should have signed my own name instead of <3 K and taken responsibility for what I publicly posted instead of allowing others the credit. In hindsight, I should have wrote in a journal with a lock and key to keep my ex-husband and children out of my thoughts. I should have never put my facebook status as public. It has reverted back to private now and my pinterest boards are locked now, too. Incrementally, I am trying to share bits and pieces of my soul through my writing. That’s the part of myself I identify as an artist, a part that creates and spins words with a flourish. I need to find somewhere to write because I need an outlet for my emotions.

In lieu of past mistakes, I am on several dating websites in
hopes of finding a male lifetime mate. I will be posting on there for responses and photos attached. I will be purchasing a webcam. The video chats will help with identification and verification, add a layer of security to the nervous fragility that is online dating.

I have bonded with a few females, but not in a sexual nature. They felt like soulmates, but I need a male soulmate to date and someday marry. I feel like I was made to love and to be loved and its another piece of myself that is held back because I have not been allowed to love to someone the way that I need to love a man, whole-heartedly and bodily. I need to be loved the
same way in return. We don’t all love the same and not everyone experiences love in the same manner. Yes, I bond emotionally AND physically.

I am slowly freeing myself of the ties that bind and am making myself a priority. That means I am dieting and am reducing the carbs and
overabundance of chocolate. I am exercising at the gym by lifting weights and shaping my body the way that I want it to be shaped. Being slim
and fit is a realistic goal. It is another challenge and another uphill battle.

Signed,
<3 Keri KDS

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