It’ll always be you

My dear Jacob,

I’ve reached a point where I realize that I probably will never have you. No matter how much I want you and how much my heart tells me that we are meant to spend our lives together.

But I can’t ignore the fact that you could have me at any given moment and you have chosen otherwise. I realize your mental health needs to come first and I agree. You need time. But that’s just it, you always need time and there’s never room for me.

Even just having you in my life as a casual thing I can’t do. I wish that I could but I need to know you’re all in before I can commit to anything even just casual. I need “us” back. I have decided that my own respect and my mental health are important too.

My hope is that soon one day you’ll be ready to be with me and we can just have a blast being a cute biker couple. But I am slowly realizing that I can’t rely on that anymore and I need to focus on myself and what I need. I’ve prayed every day that you’ll come back but I just don’t know if it’ll ever happen. I hate knowing that I’m losing so much time with you. I want to be with you and be spending this summer with YOU. It sucks but it is what it is.

I hope that you find yourself and you find happiness. I hope that you never forget me and that you’ll always love me like I do you.

You are the most amazing, interesting, fun, loving person I have ever met. To this day I have never met anyone as exhilarating and amazing as you. I really haven’t. You blow me away. I love you. Every part of you. Even the parts that I like least because somehow I grow to love them.

Why am I so obsessed with you? I wish I could stop. Haha.

I hope we meet again one day.

With my love always,

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