Hi. I have so many mixed emotions, I don’t even know what to say. I can’t say that I hate you, I can’t and I never will. I remember a simpler time when I could love you and you could love me and everything seemed perfect. When it all came crashing down I almost killed myself. It was never your fault, but I was fragile, and your love was the only thing keeping me afloat. That was stupid of me, I see that now.

But I don’t think that I ever got a chance to thank you. Because at the time it sucked to even think about, but you leaving my life in that way made way for something new. It was scary, and I’m still trying to navigate it. I have made a lot of mistakes and I am definitely not the best at it, but I think I found someone, and they found me. And I doubt myself all the time, and I never know what I’m doing, and you probably don’t care about all of that, but I think that if you saw how much progress I’m making you would be proud of me. I’m trying to love, and I’m trying to be the person that they deserve. I’m learning past what you and others did to me and I am trying, and I think that you would be damn proud.

So thanks. Because you taught me what love shouldn’t feel like, and now I know. And I am through with doubting myself. I will follow my dreams one day and I will rise to the top, and when I do, I will be thinking of you. I am so much more capable than I ever thought that I was with you and I have so much more strength now then when you left. I will make you proud, and I am really happy that I can still consider you a friend.

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