something i’ve always kept

Hey there,
I’ve decided that it finally was the time for me to talk about myself and my feelings. As you know I’m a really closed person and I don’t like to share my emotions, but I think I really need to exteriorize everything. I’m tired of always feeling lonely, even if i’m surrounded by people, like my family or my friends but I feel like no one really understands me. I’ve started to kinda isolate myself, always locked in my bedroom with my music. This is how I like it, calm and peaceful, no one there to disturb me. Why have I started to be like that ? Well because I can’t stand my family’s problems anymore. There’s always something wrong, I don’t have a good relation with my father, he’s never told me “I love you” and neither do I. I’ve always had a good relation with my mom, but since a few months it’s not the same anymore, I don’t know why. And my brothers, always there to talk behind my back with my mom when i”m not around. They don’t even know that I always hear their conversations. Anyways, I’m just tired of all of that, I want to leave the house, be independent and maybe have a new start. I’m tired of not being understood, and I don’t even know who I could share my feelings with, I don’t really trust a lot of people and I’m always afraid of being judged about that. I didn’t even talk about a third of what I feel, and why in this letter but I guess it’s just a start. I’m sorry if i’m just complaining here, but as I said it before, no one knows about how i am, no one really asks and even when they do I lie. It’s the first website i’ve found to write something anonymously, so there I am. Oh and by the way sorry if my english isn’t really perfect, I’m French.
Thank you for reading everything if you did, and have a great and happy life, I hope 🙂

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