to me

I know you love me,
There is always a way to receive love like we have never received before no matter circumstances.
Are you willing to ride the wave or you are keeping self sabotaging yourself hiding in a cave
not speaking your truth?
Will you ever be ready to receive ? When?
When do you start seeing you are perfect and you are worthy of love
Worthy of receiving love first but foremost from yourself.
When will you see how beautiful you are
When will you love yourself
When will you respect yourself
When will you get obsessed with healing yourself
you are the only one who can Pick up your broken pieces and glue them together
paint them with colours of art, music, hope, joy, bliss, peace, respect,
then dance sing listen music run jump swimm, splash your wings and fly
There is never a better time than now.
Your heart will sabotage you until you speak your truth
until you express your truth
until you create it and share it ,
until you serve it on a silver plate
and Spread it with love.
Once you know how to love yourself unconditionally
Once you will accept yourself unconditionally
You will vibrate with Love and unconditional love will find you.

Ice Queen

Fell into my well of tears,
Bubbling to the top was an
Assortment of fears.
Tangled up in my bluish stare
You opened up wounds
That inflicted pain everywhere.

Thoughts drool down my cheeks
Memories clash the cymbals
You can’t hear me speak.
Anger amounts in a rubbish pile
As I wince from it all,
you give off a devilish smile.

Your heart might me bright
and three times
The size to those you love
But it coils as a viper to strangers,
ready to strike from above.

You are pathetic
when you are so blatantly mean
Nothing is beautiful
about your face
when you are an evil Ice Queen.

Fell into my well of tears had you
And mocked pity with a false care,
Nothing lovely grows
from you indifferent glare.

Stop pretending,
its a farce just as cruel
As your throne,
The only reason you’re in office
Is because of your sly tone.

I’ll never vote you in to the kingdom
Of the kind,
never understand your banter
And its tomfoolery design.
You might think I am being harsh
But I am tired of your blows
There’s no place for you here,
so off you go.

This is different

When it comes to you, everything I have done so far has been the exact opposite of what I want to do. Every signal I have thrown, every time I have turned my head or passed you by, every word I have said to you, none of it was ever what I truly wanted. And if given another chance, I would blow that, too. I have tried many times to write how I feel. I wrote one lengthy letter to you years ago and even that ended in obscurity to where the letter, true and nice as it was, didn’t really express how I felt about you. Every time I try to write about it, I can’t think straight. I can’t get it out. I clam up even when I am all alone with just my thoughts. Even the thought of you makes me nervous but not in the sense that I am intimidated by you. I can’t explain it so I don’t even try. But nothing I have done has matched up with how I feel and I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. This is the most I have allowed myself to ever even get into it and even this is vague af. I can’t help it.

Outdoor daydreams

I see my own eyes in the reflection in the pond and my first thought is that I wish I could see yours again. I feel the light breeze on my skin and wish it were you touching me, lifting my skirt just enough and gently moving my hair out of my face. I think of how hearing your voice would be a perfect complement to the peaceful sounds of nature. I am jealous of the birds working together to make a nest and prepare their little ones for life – how many times have I wished to do that with you?

I have always found peace and belonging in nature; now I think I find that in you.

Good Morning, Captain

Let me in, the voice cried softly
From outside the wooden door
Scattered remnants of the ship could be seen in the distance
Blood stained the icy wall of the shore

“I’m the only one left, the storm, took them all”
He managed as he tried to stand
The tears ran down his face
“Please, it’s cold”

When he woke, there was no trace of the ship
Only the dawn was left behind by the storm
He felt the creaking of the stairs beneath him
That rose from the sea, to the door

There was a sound at the window then
The captain started, his breath was still
Slowly, he turned

From behind the edge of the windowsill
There appeared the delicate hand of a child
His face was flushed and timid
He stared at the captain through frightened eyes
The captain reached for something to hold on to
“Help me, ” he whispered, as he rose slowly to his feet
The boy’s face went pale
He recognized the sound
Silently, he pulled down the shade against the shadow
Lost in the doorstep of the empty house

I’m trying to find my way home
I’m sorry
Yeah, I miss you
I miss you
I’ve grown taller now
I want the police to be notified
I swear, I’ll make it up to you, promise I’ll
I’ll make it up to you, I’ll make it up to you
I’ll make it up to you
Let me go!
Let me go!
I miss you
I miss you

Broken wings

I’ll never walk alone again; the winds of time and change are too strong.
Ah, it’s that what you hurt, which you’ll have to live with.

Only the sad flowing emotions, bury these intense and trying times.
Ah, this tight embrace and this burning, unchanged heart.
In this ever changing time, love will never change.

It was a pleasure (joy and pain)

More than love it’s a way of living,
It’s all part of my way of giving and I give it all to you.

I’m the scruffy, beat up working class wannabe troubadour.
Who fell in love with you, Oh but how you broke my heart.
There are times to remember and times that I wish to forget,
Our time together was tinged with love and regret.
What’s the use of intellect and common sense,
It means nothing at all if all you can do is sit on the fence.

If it wasn’t for you I’d never have known real happiness,
If it wasn’t for you I’d never have known real sadness.
Now you ask me if I’m sincere and although I’m not a guy that means to hurt,
See the confusion in my cloudy eyes.
Because I’ve know the pain of too much happiness,
And the misfortune of too much sadness.

I know that the distance makes you forget, loves so dear.
That what today seems so real tomorrow will be forgotten,
So here I stand exiled here from the world,
My sentence comes too heavy.
And I find myself asking why I should be made to pay,
For being born on the dark side of the moon.