I’m sorry…

You ghosted me. I don’t blame you. Without meaning to I bring you pain every time I reach out to you.
But her?? The woman you told me you were over, indifferent to? Why? Why not just tell me you couldn’t stand to be without her? Why did you have to just disappear on me, make me afraid that you were dead, then break my heart?
I know I can’t compete with her. She gave you a daughter. I can’t give you anything that even compares. But all the love we shared over the years, and even after I went long distance, all for nothing.
I’m kicking myself too. I was going to leave this shit place and get an apartment and say “Surprise, I’m here, I’ve got a place for us.” But I waited too long, and now someone else has you thinking “What if we never broke up?”
I fell in love with you all over again as you sobered up, got your shit together. I just wish I could hold you and make you love me the same way. Fuck’s sake, I love you so fucking much.

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