You always elude me
Even in daydreams .
I need softer kisses with
Lips flushed and cheeks blushed
And your name on my tongue
Finally being sputtered out
And your voice among the sound waves.
But you often elude me
Except in nightmares
Where I am reminded
Of the monster
Inside me.
But there is a new trend
I am learning
New perspective
New mountainsides
As I give out a battle cry
I decide
My head will be
A temple,
My forgiving
Heart its holy land.
Your name will
Not provide guilt
Any longer.
I will write the verses
Of my own bible
And learn to forgive myself
Completely.