I have a million and one things I could say, but it always comes back to balance.
There was never any balance. Life with you is so heavily influenced with your insecurities and doubts there can never be any equality. Your partner, lover, friend, or one-night-stand all have to be so disproportionately below you how could anyone get close enough to even hold you, or kiss, or make-love all night long?
I don’t know if you believe me or not when I have said I can feel people, even when they are not near me. I have felt you from far away and still do, but it will fade with time because I have no purpose for caring anymore. (There are so many others that will be there for you, to care for you, to give you what you need). I will never apologize nor complain for my kindness, generosity, or empathetic qualities, for now I truly see what a blessing they are.
I have no intention of writing anymore, anywhere. Talking, communicating, or whatever it is you do, while online/on the computer is a perfect world for you. The coldness and distance fits. I have tried to find places where it could work for me, and it never ‘feels’ right, and I’m okay with that. I like touching and holding and feeling whomever I communicate with. We truly are in two different worlds, that can bump into each other, but never hold tight. One can never be a part of the other.
Therefore, it is time to go. I do not desire to be a part of your play, to be used again and again. That would be such a disrespect to myself and to where I came from. My soul . . . . . my soul kisses your soul, forever connected to a time that has passed.