Hopeful utterances

I am so used to being utterly crushed
Demolished, incinerated between the
Telling lines and the next hopeful gaze!
I am always hoping to stir my soul awake
Where watery eyes in fields of flowers
Are the permeating staple on the brain.
Where love circulates the room
and seeps into my tendons!
Days where grace and mercy hold my hands
And we no longer pray
Because my soul has been infused
With an everlasting loyalty
To see life’s doors open up finally
And the air become an inescapable relief.


How do you know what’s real and what’s fake? What is manipulation? What’s not? Was I supposed to know the difference? Were you the real you with me or a fake you so you could bed me? Did you waste a single second thinking of me? Did you ever care if I knew or were you working double time to distort the difference? What reality were you and how could you enforce that hell on me? It’s better to have never known love than to have known a kind of love, loved and lost. That much I know. I wish I had never met you but chances are you never blinked. A blimp on your radar. I’d trade it all to forget you. Some demons are walking on Earth. I’m sad that you cared more for your needs and put mine so beneath you. A fucking mirage. Closure is a myth. I wish I knew your thinking but that’s the difference. Clarity can be a reality. You worked so hard to keep me from it. Fuck you, from the bottom of my heart. I relish the day I can tell you that.