even tho I try not to
not to think at all even
I try to deny and ignore
my inner most something
I can’t help but wonder
because
again
you’ll be so close
physically
too
I can’t help but wonder
do you want to ..
will you find a way
whis time?
Do you think of me
at all?
I’ve been thinking …
Why couldn’t you just love me? I didn’t need a romantic relationship. After awhile I just wanted to know that those with whom I once felt close still regarded me as a person who was valuable to them.
I’ve seen you out a few times now. When I do I disappear quickly. I don’t want any more awkward conversations about nothing when I know that I don’t fit into your life anymore. But, I am happy now. These really are just the trace echoes of irresolution that no longer holds much weight for me. She shored it up when she became the only person to genuinely care how I may have felt growing up alone, without much of a family to speak of. She isn’t an only child herself; she just gets me. It feels right in a way I can’t explain.
I’m not sure why it’s important to me that you know all of this.
Perhaps to clear the confusion.
