Dear desperate lonely people,
I hate feeling this way, constantly thinking about him… or that idea… that glimpse of the idea of love i wanted, that i gave up on… then you suddenly show up out of no-where. Yes, you… out of all people i was not expecting you, you showed up from no where and just accepted me fully. I just had been hurt before. I was happy and content, i’ve come to terms and peace with never being in love again and not experiencing that feeling. That increased dopamine levels that make you forget to eat or the butterflies in your stomach that everytime you get when you see that person. Forget about all of that, it’s the way that this “relationship” could have been so healing ut i never got to experience it… its not fair..its the way how things unfolded …. its that idea that i desperately wanted. Its not fair that, i have to leave right after i realize i was falling for you, the need to express it is so strong…It hurts and it still does because i don’t know if ill ever experience that again. It hurts that i held back so much, i was scared of love. I just want to let go and give all for love but i don’t know if ill find someone whom i can love again. You’ve made me realize how essential, deserving and monumental i am… thank you for loving me or at least in my head you did. Regardless i
When you’ve been broke, you hold on to love the hardest or even the glimpse of it makes you crazy. When you had to fight for love, it becomes so special and so hard to ignore. That’s one of the downsides of falling in love.