Dear creeper on facebook,
Let’s get something straight, just because we’re friends on facebook doesn’t mean you need to comment/like every status. Everyone who knows you, knows you have a crush on me. It isn’t a secret, so please leave me alone or else I will delete you faster than you can say Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, seven times fast. You are scaring me, and all of my friends. Have a nice life without me being the center of it.