• Because…

    by  • January 12, 2011 • 0 Comments

    Because… I wanted to write something on here because I love to write. And I have a lot of stress in my life right now. Not hard core, intense stress, but day to day, busy stress. So writing relieves it all. Mostly, I wanted to write to tell everyone how I see the world. And what my world is composed of. I love two things. YOU AND MY FAMILY. (Although I don’t know if i should even put that anymore… since you are like family.) Anyway. I just wanted to let YOU know that I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! YOU HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE IN SUCH A PERFECT WAY. I CAN’T THINK OF MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU IN IT, AND HONESTLY EVERYDAY (AND I MEAN EVERY… EVEN WHEN YOU THINK I DON’T) I THINK ABOUT HOW LUCKY I WAS TO FIND YOU! I WANT TO BE WITH YOU RIGHT NOW. BUT I KNOW WE DON’T HAVE LONG, AND I AM REALLY EXCITED FOR THAT! THE TRUTH IS I ALWAYS WISH MY LIFE WOULD TURN OUT LIKE IN A MOVIE, THE PICTURE PERFECT GUY, THE SOMEWHAT CLUMSY GIRL… FALL IN LOVE AND IT =PERFECTION… BUT MOSTLY I WROTE THIS BECAUSE… I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU! THANK YOU FOR KEEPING MY FAIRY TALE DREAM ALIVE, THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU, AND BEING MINE! I AM SOO GLAD I FOUND YOU! THEN NOW AND ALWAYS…. I THINK YOU WILL KNOW WHO! :)

    To anyone that’s bored, I guess

    by  • January 12, 2011 • 0 Comments

    I’m so bored with my life. It’s completely unexciting. I have no idea what to do to keep myself entertained… I’m too young to party, yet too old to enjoy simple things that used to amaze me. Maybe it’s this town… the suburbs aren’t too entertaining. I wish I lived by the ocean, so I could swim in it and just hang out on the beach all the time. Maybe the city would be even more exciting, with the constant traffic and tons of people. I hope college comes quick so I can get out of this town! All I know is that I need a hobby or something really fast because I can feel myself becoming completely uninterested in living. I need to find something I’m passionate about or these repetitious days are just going to be worse. I want to wake up in the morning and actually be excited for a new day. I don’t want to dread it like I usually do. I really should not be complaining though. I’m lucky to be able to attend high school. I only wish it was a little more appealing!

    Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

    by  • January 12, 2011 • 2 Comments

    A,

    Every day I come onto this site, hoping I find a letter I can convince myself that this one is from you to me. Something that says that you have been too afraid to say something, but actually have had and do have feelings for me beyond our amazing friendship.

    Nothing yet, but ill keep looking for that letter, addressed to “T” and signed “A.”

    From the bottom of my patient heart,

    T

    Seriously?

    by  • January 12, 2011 • 0 Comments

    i mean seriously? i’m looking at dresses to go out clubbing in and i keep asking myself if you will like them. seriously? what’s wrong with me?

    I love you, I really do, but…

    by  • January 12, 2011 • 1 Comment

    I love you, I really do, but I’m selfish.

    I wish I could say “Hey, come back to me in 5 years and we will get married.”

    There is nothing I want more than to marry you. There is nothing I want more than to live in paradise with you, and have a
    family, and wake up to your arms around me, and to see your face every morning.

    But I’m young. I want to live my life. I NEED to live my life. I was always such an independent person until you came along…you turned my world upside down.

    I wish we could just know. I wish we could just trust each other enough to let each other live the lives we want to until it is that we KNOW we want to settle down.

    But we both know we’re jealous. We both know we’re stuck like glue to each other. For god’s sake, we can’t stand to be apart. We both know that what I want will never happen, because if either of us were to leave, we would be too afraid to come back.

    I love you, I really do, but I need to figure out how to love myself, too.

    Sorry

    by  • January 12, 2011 • 0 Comments

    J,

    You’re my best friend, my lover, the person who can sit there and listen to me for hours. You love me, and you have for quite sometime. But, I love you as a friend, not the romantic way I’ve been trying to convince myself of.

    I adore you, I never wanted to hurt you. I plan my days around how to make YOU feel better, make it so you aren’t sad. You claim that you want the same for me, and yet you only consider your feelings.

    I’m in love. I’m in love with a person from my past. Actually, he’s my past, my present, my future. My soul, my light, my love. I don’t even know if he feels as strongly as I do, but I know that I can’t give up the opportunity to be with him. Once I am, that’s it, and we’ll be together forever.

    I care about you, but I need to stop worrying about breaking your heart and realize it’s only detrimental to myself. I need to be with him. We need to move on.

    -K

    my self-medication

    by  • January 12, 2011 • 1 Comment

    i’m getting over you without self-harm.

    all i need:
    big bang theory,
    diet pepsi,
    making bracelets,
    starfucker,
    and
    friends. oh yeah
    :D