• I’ll Never Give Up

    by  • May 30, 2011 • 0 Comments

    We’re falling apart.

    It’s nothing so dramatic as fights, slammed doors or broken dishes. Nothing that simple.

    It’s as plain as this- you will never leave this place, and I refuse to stay. This place that we live, it’s poison, but you can’t see that. So many people we grew up with, dead of overdoses or car-crashes caused by being high. So many of them in jail, or destitute and homeless.

    I love you with all my heart. I have for a years and years, and a part of me will love you forever. But no matter how much I love you, I can’t stay here and watch people I cared about be destroyed by their own carelessness. Including you.

    You don’t see it. “Everybody does it,” you argue, “It’s everywhere all the time and moving somewhere else won’t change anything.”

    Yes, it will. I will make new friends, friends who don’t “need” to be high just to function, friends with whom I can spend an entire day and not have to hear, even once, a discussion of the merits of various illegal substances. I will have a normal job and a small, uneventful life that will suit me just fine.

    I wish you would come with me. I wish, with every part of me, that you were willing to see what’s happening here and come away, but you aren’t. And so while I love you, and I know you love me, we’re drifting apart because you won’t leave, and I can’t stay.

    I love you, and I hope that someday you get the life that you want.

    I just don’t think I’m going to be in it for much longer.

    Orch Dorks

    by  • May 30, 2011 • 0 Comments

    Dear M:

    I know you think you’re all that, since you’re a great violinist and everyone knows it. But was it really necessary to point that out in such a rude way? “None of the good violinists are applying?” Really?

    Yeah, we found out about that. I’ll have you know that the 7 people you insulted are far better officers and far better people than you could ever even hope to be. You might have everyone else fooled with your sweet smiles and innocent expressions, but I see what you really are: a narcissistic and tactless bitch.

    I really hope that reality takes you down a few notches soon.

    Sincerely (unlike you)

    I met you, only not.

    by  • May 30, 2011 • 0 Comments

    Dear You (Potentially the most perfect creature I’ve ever encountered, let alone sexed/spoken/been friends with),

    Now that I’ve said that, I say this. I saw someone who looked like you the other day. Then they smiled. It was that same quirky, slightly off-center, goofy smile you smile. Done for.

    I let myself get lost in the You That Wasn’t You. I let you get to me, again. I like the way it feels when you get to me.

    So now you’ve gotten to me. Before I left you, you got to me. Then you got to me again after. Even though you weren’t even there.

    You Who Wasn’t You and I had skype sex. It was the best orgasm I’ve had since I left. So thank YOU and thank You Who Wasn’t You. The two of you made my night.



    by  • May 30, 2011 • 1 Comment

    Dear mom

    Get a job. It’s been 11 1/2 years and this is getting ridiculous. You’re lazy and selfish, you waste your days doing nothing with yourself. You left your job over 11 years ago on maternity leave and never came back. You made excuse after excuse saying my sister was too young and you couldn’t afford a sitter, even tho if you had a job, you would have been able to.

    You leached off of Dad, making him work over time every week till the day he died. Ever consider that you had a job and he didn’t have to work 70 hours a week that he’d still be around, because I do, all the time. You asked me and my brother how we wanted his body handled, we both said to bury him, but you had him cremated to save money even though we already own plots to bury him in. You then took the money and sold the truck which should have gone to me since I was about to learn how to drive and my brother already had a car, and used it to pay off the house, again, instead of just getting a job and paying it off instead of giving me and my brother a fat “fuck you” to the face.

    Now 6 years have passed and you leech off the government because you are still too damn lazy to get a job. You took care of an old lady for an hour a day for $1000 a month and now you’ve lost that job too. Half your income is gone but you still refuse to get your fat, lazy ass up and get a job.

    The house is disgusting, you barely take care of the animals, or keep an eye on my sister, who is now, thanks to your inability to parent, failing half her courses, and you still are too lazy to enforce any rules or punishments. And me, the 20 year old is the only one with a job and I still do all the cooking and cleaning because YOU ARE SO FUCKING LAZY!

    And then you have the nerve to complain to all your friends and family that you’re alone and miserable and depressed, and that life is so difficult for you and wah wah wah, but then you say you don’t need a job because if you did God would get you one- even tho you having a job would introduce you to more people and get outside and you wouldn’t be stuck at home thinking in the dark and becoming depressed. Look in the Bible, and it actually says God will help you if you help yourself. As in, if you put out your resume, He’ll get you a call back, not make some guy magically appear on your doorstep and give you an amazing, high paying job.

    Jobs suck, but not nearly as much as you do as a person. You don’t get out to meet people and barely keep up with your friends. You’re going to die alone, and the worst part is, since you have no job and little savings, by the time you’re 65 me and my brother are going to have to take care of you because you’ll be broke, and when you die, there will be no inheritance left because it will all have been spent on you because you are too fucking lazy to get a job.

    You’re worthless and pathetic, and I legitimately hate you. I’ll be sad when you die, but not really after witnessing what a horrible person you really are. You leeched off my dad, you leech of the government, you’ll leech off your inheritance, then leech off me and my brother. Fuck you.

    PS, my sister doesn’t have depression. She’s spoiled and has no boundaries, and no child wants to do work which for some reason in your stupid mind, you feel kids should enjoy homework or some retarded shit like that. No, kids hate work, and since you don’t enforce it, she spends all her time on video games and gets pissed when you tell her to do homework because she knows if she argues and cries you’ll relent. That’s not depression, or ADHD, that’s being spoiled and you being to incompetent to deal with.

    Again, fuck you.

    The girl who’d give anything to not have to deal with you.


    by  • May 30, 2011 • 0 Comments

    cute guys make you crazy,
    hot guys make you drool,
    cool guys make you daydream,
    but funny guys make you fall in love without knowing it and look like a fool.

    i have gone crazy, drooled, and daydreamed over you and i am know thinking i might be in love