you know after every chill night at my house, i always walk you to your car to say goodbye? and usually our goodbyes are filled with laughs and kisses and me always thinking of how much i love you. and tonight it was just……different. as we were kissing each other, i got this overpowering feeling that if we didn’t last in college, i would be okay. and that feeling scares the living crap out of me. every day until now all i could think about is how the 1600 miles distance is going to be unbearable. and how much i’ll miss you. and how much i love you. and how i couldn’t even imagine my life without you nowadays. and now i sit here wondering why i’m not crying when i think of how i won’t be seeing your face for months on end. or how i won’t be able to kiss you, hold you, just be near you. why am i okay with the possibility of us ending? why am i not worrying about all the girls that will be clawing all over you at unc because you’re so god damn charming? why is this not breaking my heart? i don’t want this to end. summer is only so long. and we only have so much time. and yesterday, all i could think about is how i want to spend each and every day with you. but now, if i didn’t see your face tomorrow, well, i’d be fine. i don’t understand this. i don’t get why this is happening. and i hate this. i hate it, i hate it, i hate it.