• please send help

    by  • February 4, 2011 • 1 Comment

    i think i have lost the capacity to feel, and i’m scared. please, someone help me to feel again – i dont care if it’s pain or hurt or anger, i just need to feel something. anything is better than this emptiness. i’m scared.

    To Evan

    by  • February 4, 2011 • 0 Comments

    My friend,
    From the first moment that I saw you I knew you were going to be important to me. We had the best of times together: smoking in your room, getting drunk at Hanz’s, that long, freezing walk we took just to get out of my room, our long hugs and the fact that the entire time I was in love with you. Why did you have a stupid high school girlfriend? She ruined everything. And now you two have broken up and I’m thousands of miles away, having to wonder what could have been. I hope that one day our paths will cross again, because Evan, I love you and I’m afraid I’ll never stop.

    Love in the month of April

    by  • February 4, 2011 • 0 Comments

    Wow… its been almost 3 weeks since I’ve seen you. I cannot describe the agony I feel at the merest thought that I might never see you again, my love.

    Weve known each other for almost 5 years. When we met, you were just my friends girlfriend… very cool, almost one of the guys. Hot as hell, yes… but totally out of reach.

    Then… you told me almost 6 months ago that you kinda had a “thing” for me, and… everything began spinning out of control. Feelings for you I never knew I had started bubbling to the surface. I thought I could control it… bend it to my will. So… I allowed us to become closer friends. And for a while, it was good. I had someone I could talk to about literally everything.

    And then… I found out I was wrong. My will was not strong enough to overcome what I felt… what WE felt. Things changed, for the better, I still feel. You were, in every quantifiable way, perfect for me. Our compatibility is off the charts. There were just a couple of issues in our way:

    You were with my best friend, and I was married.

    becoming a memory

    by  • February 4, 2011 • 0 Comments

    Dear Brian,

    I’m sorry I left. I really am. I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to mend our friendship or even say goodbye. Maybe my leaving was a little cowardly and maybe one day i’ll regret it. But what i hate the most about all of this is that you and Allie won’t even talk to me anymore. I send facebook messages, tumblr posts, tweets, texts everything. And yet it’s like, even though we were such close friends, because I live in Colorado and you are in Minnesota you guys think I am not worthy of your time. Brian, we were best friends. I told you everything, I gave you guy advice, I let you sleep in my tiny twin bed with me, and sang Kesha with you even though you know I don’t really like her. I miss you so much and I just want to talk to you, to know what is going on with you and everyone else but I hate feeling desperate, but I hate even more feeling like I’m fading from your mind; soon to become a distant memory.

    Please come back.
    Love, Allison

    I would give my razor away,

    by  • February 4, 2011 • 0 Comments

    But I’ll miss the smell of metal on metal,
    But I’ll miss the sound of my skin tearing,
    But I’ll miss the coldness of the blood running,
    But the one thing I won’t miss at all is not having you.


    by  • February 4, 2011 • 0 Comments

    Dear Roommate,

    I thought things would work out for the best, but now I am beginning to realize I was very wrong. Open your eyes and realize you will be loved by someone in time who is worthy of loving you in such a way. First love yourself and quit setting standards for guys. No guy is PERFECT.

    While you are at it quit being so nerdy!!!

    Behind [these] hazel eyes

    by  • February 4, 2011 • 0 Comments

    You know, I can’t really talk to you about my problems in person. It is impossible for me. I just can’t do it.

    Sometimes, I wonder if you are telling me the truth. If every time I tell you what’s wrong and you tell me that I’m okay and that everything will be okay, you believe it. Do you believe it? Am I okay?

    Could you look me in the eyes and tell me that I will be alright?


    by  • February 4, 2011 • 0 Comments


    you ruined my life. after years of depression i was finally happy and you ruined it. you were my best friend! how could you do that to me? ever since that night i have been suicidal, i have Post-traumatic stress disorder and psychotic depression. my grades have dropped from A’s to C’s and D’s, i’ve stopped going out in fear of seeing you, and i feel discusting all the time. i was only 15 when you raped me in my own room, the night of the 19th birthday party i threw you. i can hardly breath when i think about that night.

    why did you do it? you meant everything to me.