• Someday.

    by  • February 3, 2011 • 0 Comments

    It’s been over a year and I still miss you as much as I did the day you left me. If you’re leaving for good, walk slow, and remember to look back one day. You know I’ll still be there.

    Thin line between love and hate

    by  • February 3, 2011 • 3 Comments

    I wish I could just tell you this in person, but I can’t. I can’t tell you because you are not strong enough, you break down everything and I feel that everything becomes a crisis in your life. I used to love you, that is true and perhaps a part of me still does because I can’t imagine doing anything to hurt you again. But the thing is I’m afraid I’m starting to hate you. I find myself cursing your name. I no longer wish to be in a relationship with and honestly sometimes I wish you were no longer a part of my life. I stay because I feel obligated to. I feel obligated because I promised you I wouldn’t hurt you again. And every time I seem to pull away from your grip on me you panic and do whatever it takes to pull me back. I’m growing sick and tired. I’m tired of all these games and all these lies. I’m sick of playing this role of lover\care-giver when I’m still trying to figure out how to take care of myself. I need my personal space, I need you to let me have time to just breath with out you there needing or wanting me. I just can’t take this anymore. It’s destroying me. I’ve resigned myself to a loveless relationship and if this continues a loveless marriage as well. I’m not happy to be with you. I just want us both to be happy and it seems like that can’t be possible so I’ll sacrifice myself, I’ll put myself through all this for as long as I can. I’m just starting to fear for myself. You claim to love me…so please let me go. Let me go so you can learn what a healthy attachment, what a healthy relationship feels like, because I’m not strong enough to teach you.

    Dear you

    by  • February 3, 2011 • 3 Comments

    I am in love with you. I know relationships are complicated. Sometimes they are messy and do not mean anything. Sometimes when I see people around school hugging or kissing or holding hands, I do not see that they really mean something to each other or that they are really happy. I do not want to be that couple that snuggles all day (although I would like to snuggle with you all day), or that kisses 2397219837 million times a day, or that tells each other that they love each other every five seconds. That is boring. That is sick. I want to be the couple that has too much fun (like we are now but with more hugging). The couple that is different and people know that we are truly in love with each other after the first five seconds of being around us. Not because we are hugging or anything like that, but because they can sense this connection and that we hardly have anything NOT to say. I want to be able to ask you questions and ramble off into these weird conversations about who makes up words today. I want to make up answers for why the wind blows. Then again, I want to be able to talk to you intellectually about books and movies and music. I want to be reading buddies. I want us to have movie nights where we watch these awful movies, and we would not even be watching them. Not because we are kissing, but because we are making fun of the movie.

    I want to tell you everything I am thinking, and I want to be there for you when you are telling me everything that you are thinking. I want to know your phobias. I want to know your favorite colors. I want to be comfortable not knowing who we are or where we are going or if we are going.

    I love you more than anyone loves you, or has loved you, or will love you. I love you in a way that no one loves you, or has loved you, or will love you. I love you in a way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else.

    With all my heart,

    Do You Care

    by  • February 3, 2011 • 0 Comments

    Remember that first night we slept together? You had a party at your place then asked me to stay as everyone began to leave. I stayed because I was attracted to you. We had an amazing night and it wasn’t just your average hook up. I could feel it and I know you could to.

    I left the next morning before you were awake so I could take in the event of the night. Then we continued to sleep together, getting closer everyday. Then fall break came and we left campus. We returned 5 days later after not seeing you, and you had a girlfriend from home. I was not only confused, but hurt. Then another party at your place, you asked me to stay and I did.

    Slowly we got back to our routine, acting like your girlfriend at home didn’t exist. But she did, and it hurt me everyday. But not anymore. I fell in love with you, all of you. The good, the bad, the asshole, the drunk. I fell for it all. I believe you have feelings for me too, but I don’t understand why you’re with her. I really don’t. It truly makes no sense.

    So this is me telling you I’m done. I can’t love you anymore. I have too many questions, and not enough answers. Like why if you love her do you still want me? What do you want with me? Did it mean anything to you? I can’t ask you any of this because I’m afraid of the answers. So I told you I couldn’t do it anymore, and i haven’t talked to you since. I love you.

    Please, miss me.


    by  • February 3, 2011 • 1 Comment

    Dear Roommate:

    Please STFU. Please stop that HORRIBLE noise that you call laughing which you make to get attention from me- who won’t give it to you because you’re so FREAKING annoying. Please stop that sound which you call a hiccup… IT’S SO ANNOYING. Please stop the noises you make whenEVER you move, or do anything. Those little sighs that are exaggerated? The ones that sound like you’re getting sexual pleasure? Yeah those ones. Also please stop talking to me when I have my headphones on. I OBVIOUSLY don’t want to talk to you. Please also stop trying to show me STUPID stuff on your computer when I am obviously busy with homework or other things. Also, stop shouting at your video games, it’s freakin annoying.

    Dear Tristan,

    by  • February 3, 2011 • 0 Comments

    Every night I sleep, I dream of you. Your teeth, your eyes, your hair. Everything just the same as the day that I decided to cheat on you. At the time, I thought we were just over, and I felt too guilty to stay with you, so I left. I have yet to make as big of a mistake as that, because no matter how far away you are, I still see you in every night’s dream, and I still wake up every morning feeling nothing but love for you. I would do anything to get you back, but I’m the girl that cheated on you, and I always will be. But I can tell you now that I would never do anything to hurt you ever again, because now, two and a half years after we broke up, I am more in love with you then I ever have been. I hope one day, I’ll open my eyes and see that the night before was more then just a dream. I love you.

    -Your angel


    by  • February 3, 2011 • 0 Comments

    I don’t understand why you think you’re so high and mighty. You’re a stupid High school theatre director. In the grand scheme of things that amounts you to about less than nothing. All of your students are so sick of you giving your damn son the leads every effing musical. He’s a fat, no talent, f***. There are a whole bunch of people that actually work for this so you could at least remotely pay attention to them too.

    two hearts.

    by  • February 3, 2011 • 0 Comments

    i have been going out with my boyfriend for 3 years now. he is a very sweet, caring, we share everything together and he is just an amazing boyfriend and i love him so, SO much. but at nights when i am laying in bed, thinking about life, the people in it, and the people who i wish were in it…i think about my ex-boyfriend, whom i was once in love with…and still am in love with. the only problem is…he lives 5 states away. he calls telling me that “if you were here with me, then i know our lives would be amazing”. and i want that. i always thought that he would be the first guy i would ever have sex with and be the guy that i marry and have children with. but the days go by and i am still torn by the two guys that i am in love with. will i ever figure this out?