• Ash In Heights

    by  • April 21, 2017 • 0 Comments

    I don’t know what possesses me, comes over me

    I don’t know which demon out there has been assigned to my side

    I think in a way, whoever they are, must care for me

    But also want nothing more than to hurt me

    It’s an abusive relationship, but one I can’t ever get out of.

    They bring me to what I love. But everything I love is always what hurts.

    It’s a drag, held too long in the lungs, experiencing highs unlike any other, but ones that leave damage and cause you to black out

    It’s a demon that intends to bring me up and pull me down. But if it’s so concerned with that, it must have a reason to keep sitting on my chest.

    I feel it pushes my voice from me, to speak, but also causes me to choke on my own existence.

    There is no solution. I am taken by the arm and dragged through dreamscapes, by such strong forces. Which is what I’ve felt in the waking life. But why, why bring me to what I want? I am standing in the face of my heart, but it’s in the frame of a nightmare and has a euphoric sting.

    Standing behind me, holding me close, as you take the razor blade to every inch of my skin, engraving my pains so they will never heal. They will just be scars in the shapes of people. Of feelings.

    There is a reason why you are so afflicted. Why you are held down so strongly. You think Lucifer really has enough of his fallen angels for everyone? There are a select few. That torment a select few. Because they have the power to do what some can’t.

    They have the gift of sight.

    And they can’t just be left to do what they wish with their knowledge. The intensity of their emotions, of their worlds, that energy has to come from somewhere. The universe has sacrificed it’s stars to bring them their intensity. They have to pay for that power somehow.

    The cosmos give to you, the cosmos must be given back. And Lucifer is in contact with them.

    Baby, where are you?

    by  • April 21, 2017 • 0 Comments

    I have so much I want to say to you rn. But I had another absurdly long day, didn’t leave work til ten after 10 and I’m not even home yet.

    I’m so tired baby. Can I just cuddle you to sleep? please?