• Faking Happiness

    by  • March 22, 2017 • 0 Comments

    I just caught myself smiling at work. I realized I smile all the time now that you are gone. People describe me as optimistic. I finally learned what it means to fake happiness and it took losing you as the lesson. But your gone now. My friends and loved ones see the improvements in my life and I fool the people that see me daily.

    Really it’s still you and it’s always you… and you are gone.

    I wish you were sharing my life with me.

    I love you.

    Do you

    by  • March 22, 2017 • 1 Comment

    Have any thoughts on if and how radioactvity dispersed into our environment through nuclear mishaps might affect human evolution?

    I know I’ve read articles on how animals that have ventured to live near the chernobyl site have evolved in such a way that at least in birds there is a difference in coloration and cancerous mutations but what about influence on habits and though?
    I also vaguely recall an bit on radioactive boars being more aggressive. Totally had a Princess Monoke flashback.

    To the unforgettable,

    by  • March 22, 2017 • 0 Comments

    I’m 15 now. The hope that was once in me, has vanished to leave a Sand grain behind. You’re okay however. You’re faking a smile but you’re refusing to take my offer to become a listener. I know you’re not entirely okay but I’m hurt; I’m hurt because of your bullshit, I’m hurt because of the hesitation in my voice when I speak to you, because of my selfless taking over me to make you happy. I’m hurt because you hurt me and pretended you didn’t. It was like pretending the moon doesn’t exist because night is dark.

    You’re shattering my existence. I’m fading into a land of invisibility. I almost feel like I’m just a broken radio; works every once in a while. I might be fading but I’m strong enough to not let go when I’m barely a shade of color. I became like a blank piece of paper, no colors, no lines, nothing. I don’t blame you. I blame this test you call life. I blame this hypocritical world full of hatred.

    The darkness that surrounded me became an impossible darker shade of black. A shade never made before. Now music is my only companion. After being left by the mankind. Humans now have learned to turn against each other, rather than being united to make this world a better place. They don’t only kill each other physically, but they strip away the happiness and the atom of hope.

    I became lost, lost in my thoughts. Almost like I have built a city from overthinking. It’s truly sickening, having to keep in too much because no one seems trustworthy enough. I promise you, you’ll get stronger every time. They might be throwing rocks at your weak points but the rocks will shatter when they hit you. See, this world isn’t about targeting you and making your life miserable. It’s about finding vulnerability and using it for their own benefit. They will make you fall in love and break your heart in most ways. They will tell you to dream but they’ll be the reason it’s long gone. They will tell you to stay strong… but they’re stripping away your strength.

    It’s a hopeless world.

    Are you avoiding me?

    by  • March 22, 2017 • 0 Comments

    Not seen you in a long, long time now. Worried I’ll never see you again.
    I must admit I have been rushing around for the last couple of weeks so maybe that’s why. Always somehow running out of time so having to run but ey.
    Wish I could see you. Wish I could spend time with you even if it’s like 5 minutes.
    So wish you would contact me.
    But, maybe you’ve moved on completely and want nothing further to do with me. I may never know. Wish I did though. Wish I knew what you thought of me..

    I love you but…

    by  • March 22, 2017 • 0 Comments

    I love you but you are not healthy for me
    I love you but I feel you are not making an effort to make me feel loved
    I love you but I feel you will never choose me
    And so I decided to walk away

    Why you keep on saying sorry but keep doing what makes me sad?
    Your words are in vain coz your action speaks otherwise
    Am I just focusing on my pain and not appreciating your effort?
    Or deep down inside I simply knew, I deserve more than your empty words

    Why did I love you this much I keep on asking myself
    Why it hurts this bad every time I take a step
    I love you so much I cannot say No to you
    So I’m burning bridges to keep myself from coming back to you.