Dear friend who never was,
I give you the gift of absence. This, what we pretend is a friendship, is an awkward imposition in your life. Why did I take so long to understand?
Taking pleasure in company, sharing interest, spending time, a meal or just talking, none of it matters. For that, you seek out other people. So do I when I tire of seeking you out. We are something you revisit when you have nothing else to do, nobody else watching you. We are something you revisit when you are alone and horny in a distant hotel room, away from your real life.
Once upon a time you said you will not be happy with me. We had stopped being together without me realizing that we were never actually together. And yet, you persist in being somewhere on the periphery, refusing to let go. I thought that could be a friendship. Why did I think so?
This does not make me happy. You do not make me happy. This deliberate manipulation does not make me happy.
Let us kill this pretense and go back to our lives.
Let us get what we deserve.
Yours in celebration of this freedom…
I’m so sick of working with penis-worshipping cunts all day long. Women are so mean to each other here. It’s common talk to be joyous if someone is pregnant with a boy and techs routinely make comments like ‘I couldn’t have raised girls’…’no offense’…like that can make up for the offensive comments. Its like I’m transported to the 1950s when I walk into work.
They are disrespectful to female leaders and I’m so tired of it. But when a guy tells them to get a BP read, they treat him like he’s a genius! I’m ashamed to be a nurse among them. I’m afraid I will take their fucked up views into my home. I’m afraid if I stay here I will become one of them after years of listening to carefully crafted jaded gossip.
I feel sorry for the female medical residents that work here. Word of advice, just stay out of west michigan for your residencies ladies. The nice ones get trampled on the most. AND TO THINK FOR THE LAST 40-50 YEARS WE HAVE BEEN SEEKING NICE MD DOCS TO TALK TO US INSTEAD OF BERATING US. When they come by, we just abuse them or ignore them.
Are there even hospitals where women are more supportive of each other? Otherwise, I need to find a hoe-dunk solo practitioner’s office in the middle of nowhere and work for him/her…
Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. After 10+ years though, the politics is wearing me down. And I don’t see the supply of insolent nurses waning in the younger generations either. If you call a doc in the middle of the night for mental status change and all that happened was the patient fell asleep, well of course they won’t CT him! That spares the patient from radiation exposure…its not someone ‘disrespecting’ you or ‘not being responsive to nursing needs.’ Seriously, some of them really need to get themselves.
I am tired of being used and abused. I am tired of giving my love to someone who do not want it. I am tired of lies, dishonesty and selfishness. I am tired of being blamed because the person I care for mistreat me. I am tired of thinking I am in a relationship, when in reality I am in a situation. I am tired of you using my flaws against me to justify your mistreatment of me. I am tired of never being loved in return. I am tired of the heartbreak, heartache and disappointments. For the person who tried to break me; you did not succeed. You made me bend a little, but you did not break me. It took me a long tI’m to realize I need to reevaluate what I am willing to accept from someone and how much I am willing to give to that person. I have been through too much with my heart. I am tired of blaming myself for things that was not even my fault. I am tired of being loyal to someone who is never loyal to me. I am tired of being honest when you could never understand honesty. I am tired of being faithful to someone that cannot even comprehend the meaning of being faithful. Yes, this is directed to you, the one who pretended to love me. It has been months since we spoke after a 2 year silence, but I could not say what I really wanted to say to you. You actually came to me after all that time asking could we be friends, not caring about the damage you caused me. I accepted and tried to be forgiving, then you turned around and threw my most agonising moments back at me. You used the secrets I trusted you with against me. You completely shattered me all over again. But, on that I blame myself because I knew you were never trustworthy; you do not know how to be. But, like I said; you made me bend, but I did not break. I loved you with all my heart and you abused that love.
I am tired
I am tired
So, at this point in my life I do not want any situations nor relationships. I do not want to give my heart to anyone else. I think I am pretty much done with believing love is out there for me. It is time to just be still.
I want to say, I am currently feeling somewhat depressed, but don’t worry, I could never hurt myself, i would not do that to my mother. i know she needs me too much. but while I am here i wish I could tell this to my friends, I wish they knew how much i need them
I have coworkers i had planned to organize a trip to the renaissance festival, and lately when i mention anything I get no reply. that hurts. one who insisted we go the weekend that she chose now thinks she can’t go. that hurts. if you have insisted we plan around your preferences, backing out really sucks. your reasons may be valid but we decided to go when you wanted now it seems that it doesn’t matter
my other friend, i know she struggles too, but I reach out sometimes and get nothing back from her. that hurts.
you may not intend it to hurt. but it hurts.
you guys help me fight the good fight. if i look in my corner and you are not there i wonder why i keep fighting. i guess there is my mother but other than her, why do i bother?
I feel like giving up.
and a word could stop me from giving up.
give me something.
Physics. School days are long over, though. I’m not sure if your response is sarcasm spun from incredulity or genuine curiousity but thank you for your interest.
I would have just responded on my letter but the comments are broken right now.
Thank you, dear lins admin, for removing the stale and dusty, uninspired and worn out, same-old same-old TODAYS MOST READ !!!
Wishing you a really nice day!
<3 <3 <3