• what sense does it make?

    by  • July 2, 2015 • 0 Comments

    “What sense does it make?”

    “You ask me? Who is old here? I don’t know. You should tell me.”

    “You are too young. In your age I had obligations.”

    Right. Now I know why I’m here.


    by  • July 2, 2015 • 0 Comments

    Dear Green Eyes,

    Never in a a million years would I expect to fall for someone like you. It is a roller coaster of excitement inside my mind and head, but I try my very best not to show it. Not to make it too obvious. Well, I know that it won’t be that obvious anyway, since I have this gift of appearing as ‘non-responsive’ and ‘anti-social’ at times. But believe you and me, I am doing this consciously to protect you. I know how smart and great you are with your career, and I have decided to just keep my distance. It’s because I never ever want you to compromise your success over one silly gossip that can run like wild fire at work. I am consciously keeping my distance and happily watching you do fantastic works whilst I watch from afar. It’s because I care for you. I want you to be the best and to continue to achieve greater things. You have this beauty and strength that I find really very attractive, but I am keeping this feelings to myself. For now, I will just keep it in my head and heart. Not the right timing, I guess. I am just around, but not for long. But when I come back, I will make sure that the difference in age will never matter at all. A decade doesn’t make any difference, if the heart, mind and soul speaks the same language. For some reasons, I get you and I feel you. Very strange, I know. I hope you have already figured my preference. If I know you from outside work, I could have just told you straight away that I find you really very attractive. But I can’t. It’s because I care for you. I have a favour to ask. Please continue to soar high. Because seeing you excel, makes your green eyes twinkle more. I think I am falling for you. I better leave soon, so I can tell this to you in person just before I go and leave town. Always take care, my green eyes beauty.


    How can you be so selfish

    by  • July 1, 2015 • 0 Comments

    I honestly had the best days of my life with you and i always knew that i loved you way more than you loved me. Today is the day when i realised that you never actually loved me. Maybe it was an illusion, maybe I was going crazy. If everything that has ever happened between us is real then i don’t understand how it is possible to throw me away like this. When i messaged you that someone tried to rape me you didn’t give a fuck, when i told you that i was lost you just ignored me. How can you still sleep, do you even understand whats happening? Even people that i didn’t know helped me, why does everyone care more than you? Im kind of happy that you’re so selfish because life is a lot easier this way. And i want your life to be easy. Believe it or not, i still fucking care about you. I still love you. And i still want you to make up excuse why you didn’t reply when i told you everything. I never cried this much in my life. Don’t even know what hurts more, the fact that someone just tried to rape me or that my best friend doesn’t care about it. Probably the second one.
    Bye, A
    Still love you lots xoxo


    by  • July 1, 2015 • 5 Comments

    Nothing ever really changes and yet it does, so the time to say ‘goodbye’ draws near.

    You kept & still keep your eyes shut pretending everything will be alright between us.

    Yes, I said we will both be alright and we will be.


    You your life and I my life.

    You want me to be yours, all of me BUT you don’t want me.

    What else,


    is there to say?

    Forgive me but I can no longer live without you, with you, it just hurts too much and

    I am so ready to live. I will at least try… soon.

    Words mean nothing without action and yet, everything you said had such a profound impact on my life, meant so much and hurt equally.

    You will probably never really understand how deep my rabbit hole is even when I used to say “you know”.

    Time is so very near of when I have to tell you….

    No blame
    No regrets
    No apology for loving you
    No apology for leaving you

    My choice, all of it where you say you never had one…Oh sweet lie – Goodbye

    On The Inside

    by  • July 1, 2015 • 0 Comments

    Always further Always faster
    Calm my dear I am the Master

    Rush inside don’t let it out
    You don’t know what it’s about

    Goin’ goin’ goin’ like that Bunny
    who cares about the fucking Honey

    Home is where the mind’s at Rest
    Life keeps putting me to the Test

    Chances come with all their Might
    Rejoicing I should but yet I’m Tight

    Down is up and up is Down
    Somehow feeling like a Clown

    But NO

    Walk right through all this Disaster
    Hear me shout I AM MY MASTER

    Now it’s done there’s no turning Back
    Catch me running off this beaten Track

    See me screaming silently Loud
    This is Me from the inside Out


    by  • July 1, 2015 • 0 Comments

    I would like to see you. I would like to tell you how grateful I am that after we parted I still continue to grow and learn as a result of you.

    Its been 5 years but I still believe we belong together.

    I might be moving to California. I am going to take a series of tests for a job soon. When I pass I will be faced with the decision to go or stay. I likely will go. In fact I know I’m going to take that leap of faith as life is precious.

    I always dreamt we’d return to California together with all the knowledge we got when we were apart. This was my premonition long ago. I love you deeply and I always will. Call. Write. Find me.

    It was you who revealed (in a dream) these numbers to me, 319; the day which I could have been paralyzed and hurt. I fell and landed unhurt…staring at the sky of stars adrenaline rushing through my veins. It was you who revealed the peril, warning me. I know this means something. Can you feel my love?