It’s been a long time since I have written you a letter or even a message more then a few sentences. I remember the last message I sent you was a few years ago. In the letter I mentioned I would was done waiting for you. At that time I thought I was done waiting because I was pretty sure you had no feelings for me. I thought you just liked flirting with me and keeping me as a back up. To this day I am still not sure if I was wrong. Sadly deep down I never stopped waiting for you. In some way I think I always will be waiting for you. I have now liked you for 14 years. I may never feel this way for anyone else. I dream about you all the time. I wake up feeling so happy and loved then I realize it was a dream and slowly that feeling goes away. Whenever I know there will be a chance to see you I try to take it. I know you are with someone else and I can not have you but I still like to hear your voice or see your smile. It keeps me going until next I am with you. I pick up my phone all time and almost dial your phone. I try to think of some excuse just to call or text you. Everytime I think of the day I will see that you are engaged to someone else it breaks my heart. I don’t know what I will do when that day comes.
There are so many thing I would have done different before, while and after we dated. I know I made mistakes the whole time. There are so many things I would change if I could. I would do anything to rewrite our history.
I wonder if things would have been different if we would still be together or if things would have still turned out this way. I guess we will never know.
I should have told you how I felt after Abdiels wedding. I will never forget how we looked at together during that toast. I felt lost in your eyes and like I belonged with you. I could see you in that room. I never wanted that moment to end. I don’t know why i did not tell you how I felt. Ever since I wrote that letter to you years ago telling you I was done waiting I thought if it’s meant to be you would tell me and you would find a grand way to show me.
Here we are years later and that never happened. You are with her and you seem happy. I wish I would’ve taken the chance when I could have. I hope she makes you happy and brigs out the best in you. She is one lucky lady to be with you.