• Mr.&Mrs. Okay

    by  • July 29, 2015 • 0 Comments

    Everyone from the outside looking in sees a healthy relationship because I’ve been with her almost for a year. Every day constantly lying to myself everything seems ok,but the truth is on the inside I’m hurting, I’m crying, I’m drowning in my tears someone please throw me a life jacket.
    I only think of you. I wish you could have stayed up to watch the sunrise with me because it has a meaning to it. No matter how dark it seems the light will uliminate the sky with its radiant sun. Never lose hope in what we have. I am ok when you say “okay”. I promise I will love you forever. our anniversary date is 07/28/2015

    Almost there, but not quite

    by  • July 28, 2015 • 0 Comments

    I thought for sure that I had completely let you go…..yet, there you are, still lingering in my thoughts, still evoking bittersweet sighs. My birthday…I know you never remember. My heart breaks every time you forget. I’m bracing for it.

    If only…

    by  • July 28, 2015 • 0 Comments

    I wish there was a switch. I don’t want to keep feeling this way anymore. Whenever I think about you, my heart beats a little faster, then I berate myself for doing it. I hate that I love you. I hate that I feel this way. I just wish it would go away.

    Even better, I wish you loved me to. You are so amazing, every moment I’ve had with you has been incredible. And every 11:11, every shooting star, airplane, dandelion is my heart reaching out to something that I hope will give me what I need to satisfy the darkness that comes with loving you. Whether it be a release from this terrible pain or else, I need it soon. I can’t keep doing this.

    If you ever saw this, all you would think is that she is some depressed, crazy person. When I get dark, that’s all I see. But this “strong, independent girl who’s focusing on her future and doing all these great things” face that everyone sees, it fools me too sometimes. My future seems boring without you in it.

    Now I feel like some whiny girl. Yuck.

    I can do better. I can do this without you.

    Fuck these contradicting and confusing thoughts.

    -A

    The Truth Is

    by  • July 28, 2015 • 0 Comments

    You said something.

    Better yet, you wrote something.

    Something that hit my reset button.

    I’m just waiting now.

    Waiting for you to do something.

    Something bad.

    Something evil.

    Something to disgust the fuck out of me.

    Anything.

    I’m just waiting.

    Then I’ll finally have a reason.

    A reason to be gone.

    A reason to end this fucked up twisted bullshit UN-relationship.

    I’m ready.

    Hurry up Mister.

    Or maybe I’ll be the one..

    To do it first.