How do you stay in love with someone who is never satisfied? Who appreciates nothing good in their life? Who only looks at the bad? The hard? Who thinks everything and everyone is out to get them? Who never notices all the things you do for them? Who never enjoys the little things in the life you share together?
Why is nothing ever enough? Why isn’t my love, this child, our home, why isn’t it enough? Do you understand what you are putting us through? Do you realize that every negative thought you have makes me feel inadequate? Do you realize how unimportant you make me feel? Do you realize by constantly voiceing only the bad things in your life, that you make all the good things seem nonexistent?
Everything I do for you, I do because I just want to make you happy SO BAD. I just want you to smile, and think to yourself “Yes, this is the life I want.” Instead I am constantly bombarded with what could be, what isn’t, what we’ll never have. What I should have done, what I didn’t do, what you think I’m going to do. How somehow, at some point, without any proof or justification at all, I have wronged you? Hurt you, deceived you. When in fact everyday, I’m here, waiting for you to be the person I fell in love with. Hoping and praying for once I did something right.
Do you understand that that kind of negativity, that kind of mistrust to someone who has never asked you for anything, who has never done anything to hurt you, is killing me? This “love” makes me want to crawl into a hole and never come out. It is physically exhausting trying to keep up with your feelings, and emotions.
Is he going to blame me for all the things his life lacks today? Or by bloody miracle, will he appreciate the life I have contributed to? It’s one thing to need to vent and get things off your chest, but to carry those things on your shoulder day after day and expect to hold the weight up all by myself… You’re asking for too much.
When all you do is complain and whine and moan about only the bad things in your life, you make the people who love you feel so small, so irrelevant. Everytime you disregard every kind thing I attempt to make you see the light at the end of the tunnel, you blow the fucking candle out before I even get halfway there. And that eventually will leave you all alone.
You think things are hard now? Imagine life without love, without sympathy. Imagine truly being alone with nothing to look forward to.
Is it sad that that is how I feel now? To be with someone who you love more than life itself, and still feel so alone. And still have no one to talk about my own woes and worries. I just realized that this whole relationship, is about YOU. You minimalize my problems, and that’s not fair.
This isn’t fair. This is not love.