• Letter To My Little Sister

    by  • December 8, 2016 • 0 Comments

    I know you love me, and I love you too. I know I’m always busy, and that means that sometimes we don’t talk to each other for a couple days at a time. I’m sorry you have to see me at my low times, when I am weak and destructive. The days when I battle my depression and even start to lose that battle. Sometimes it feels like I am the little sister and you are the big sister, sending me reminders that I am beautiful and worth it. You don’t know I see those because I never answer, but that is because I don’t know how to begin to thank you for doing that for me. 903 miles are between us, but you are still in my heart. I promise once I move to Germany, I’ll fly you out to spend summers with us.
    Honestly Sis, I wouldn’t make it through the day without you.
    You are the Jade to my Dave.
    The Kanaya to my Porrim.
    The Kankri to my Karkat.
    The Dave to my Dirk.
    You are my best friend.
    You are my little sister.
    You can be a sassy little nugget sometimes.
    And love to throw shade.
    But you’re beautiful, loving, caring, never afraid to defend those you love, and my brave little sister.
    You are courageous, Sis. You’ll make it far in life, and you’ll touch people’s lives in amazing, positive ways, just like you have done to mine.
    Whether you believe me or not.
    I love you so much.
    Hugs and Kisses.
    Big Sis <3

    Did the ball freeze in your court?

    by  • December 8, 2016 • 0 Comments


    It’s L, again. I’ve only posted in here about you a series of 3 times, this included. The first post was in 2013. The second was in 2016. And this one will be close to 2017.

    I was cleaning out my computer looking from my freshman year of college when I stumbled upon quite a few photos of us.

    Boy, did we look happy. Really purely lovingly happy.

    You know all my regrets, my apologies, and my mistakes I made between us way back in my late teenage years. There is nothing left for me to say. I said all I could. I repented all I could. I begged for your forgiveness all I possibly could.

    Well, the ball has been in your court for almost 4 years now. Not to sound rash, but did the ball freeze in your court?

    This is the point where it becomes YOUR fault.

    It used to hurt to look at old photos but I am looking now at them and realizing that I don’t think you will ever look as happy as you did when you were with me. It does not hurt to look back at our relationship anymore. The images and memories don’t haunt me anymore. I cherish them now and have moved on. I learned a great deal from my epic first love.

    It’s calming and relieving to know how significantly my feelings have waned for you. Deep down I know I am the best thing you’ve ever had.

    I know my self-worth and how far I have come and it may have taken me a long time, but all along I was actually the better one of the two of us.

    Good luck ever finding true love again.

    Be well,

    I miss your big eyes

    by  • December 8, 2016 • 0 Comments

    I do miss you. I will always miss you.
    Just hope one day that we’ll connect again. I will let you in and I will be cooperative but I can’t promise that I won’t be slightly reserved until I know exactly what you feel about things.
    I hope you know that. :


    by  • December 8, 2016 • 0 Comments

    I miss you so much 🙁

    Heart sinks further and further,
    with each day that goes by,
    while you aren’t by my side.

    I’m just holding it all together,
    can’t get you outta my head,
    my heart is literally aching for you.


    Here’s to you

    by  • December 7, 2016 • 0 Comments

    Here’s to the One i never had.
    I’ve read many stories…love stories and all of them taught me that humans fall in love for stupid reasons. Some fall in love with laughter, some with intelligence…some have no reason at all. And why should they?
    Love…it has no reasons. It just happens…
    I do not know how and when i started falling in love with you, but i do know that you could change my life completely. I could feel the energy in your eyes wanting and attracting my soul towards yours… what did you just do to me?
    i just feel there is a song that both our souls know and sing everytime we are close. we know the lyrics… we know how we complete each other. we know we are not perfect… and we’re working on it… we know we love each other, but still we’re too afraid that the universe may not want this to happen.
    it is nobody’s fault, believe me. all the chances we could have taken, all the conversations we could have done, maybe it’s just not meant to be.
    BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW, i won’t give up on you. i know that this is not the first time i saw you, neither the last. i will search for you in every incarnation even if that means, i have to live 1000 others without you. And when that happens, i will talk to you like an old friend, like the girl who loved the way you talked, the way you smiled, the way you craved knowledge. when that happens my soul will finally find the missing part.
    Here’s to A.D