• To the girl I wasted my youth Mommying

    by  • June 22, 2018 • 0 Comments

    My dearest Stephanie,

    Once you scolded me for my ambition. Do you remember that? I understand if you don’t. It was a very long time ago. We were still in school and your boyfriend had run off to the city. He was, after all, 6 years our senior. He could do that. Anyway, even in the city he was still a nobody, a broke loser in a dead end job, and to be fair, maybe I reminded you of that too often. I loved you dearly. I wanted you to know you could do better. I remember you turning red in the face and shouting that “not everyone has to be ambitious like you are!” What a biting insult I took that to be. It astonishes me to think how badly it hurt, to be accused of being ambitious. And to think, ambition is all there is to you know.

    How pitiable there is no greatness in you with which to back it up.

    You may wonder why I write this letter now. The hurt was so long ago. Perhaps I have done you a disservice by not divulging that it never stopped aching. It would be impossible for me to tally up every wrong you’ve done against me after all these years, but essentially the ungratefulness with which you treated my presence in your life, I have realized, was never forgivable. I know you think me weak. I think myself weak for accepting the way you made a mockery of my compassion. I know now that surviving your tyranny, disguised as sisterly affection, takes a kind of inner strength you, for all your ambition, can only dream of. You must have seen this coming, as you cast me aside without a word when you realized you had no further use for me. I suppose that’s fine. I’m not so petty as to need to have the upper hand in the court of public opinion.

    I am, however, petty enough that I want you to know: I know you are weak. I know you are insecure. I know you are not nearly as intelligent as you want everyone to believe you are. I will never forgive. I will never forget.

    I remind you I was your ever faithful friend,


    Ke a go rata

    by  • June 20, 2018 • 0 Comments

    Tsatsi le letsatsi

    Moya wa me o ingaparetsa ka kobo ya moja wa ga Jesu

    Ke ntse ke le motho wa sepe

    Ke goga bokete

    Ke kokota fa kgorong ya pelo ya gago rato lwa me

    Ke kopa o mpulele

    Ke nelwa ke pula ya dikgadima tsa maikutlo le moya

    Ke khubame ka mangole ke ikhunere e kete moswelwa mo gare ga dithetse

    Pula go nkwela e sena boutlwelo botlhoko go nna

    Go nkgasa ka marothodi a bokete a tsididi

    Ke sitilwe

    Dikgadima di gasa loapi ka kgalalelo ya tsone

    Lefatshe le roroma ka fa tlase ga matla a tsone

    Ke kopa o mpulele rato la pelo ya me

    Ao ke a go rata

    Ke go tlhologeletswe thata monngwa pelo ya me

    Tlhogo e obegile

    Ga gona kwa nka sielang teng

    Ke rapela e le nngwe fela thapelo

    Ke tshegofatso e mo pelong ya me go wena

    Modimo a go tshegofatse

    Modimo a go okeletse botshelo

    Modimo a go okeletse pholo

    Modimo a go okeletse bontle

    Modimo a go okeletse tshireletso ya gagwe

    Dipuonama go buela ruri thapelo tse di pelong ya me

    Ke ineela ka fa tlase ga pula le dikgadima tse di senang mosa

    Go mpetsa go fitlhela ke ikela

    Tyolo aka Rantings of a woman in love

    The new

    by  • June 20, 2018 • 1 Comment

    The conversations are becoming boring same old
    Same thing over and over. Having too much in common is not always so good. I long for someone who see’s the world differently. A beautiful mind. That’s all.

    The Nonexistant Apology

    by  • June 20, 2018 • 0 Comments

    I can’t believe you lashed out at me like that!! Over what? You probably don’t even care that I feel like you had no right. You probably couldn’t care less that you hurt my feelings. You probably feel like you were in the right, and I was wrong.

    Whatever. I feel as though I deserve an apology, but I am certain it will never happen. That’s just the kind of person you are. I think you tried to make up for it shortly after by helping me, but how does that help you understand my perspective? It doesn’t, because you just don’t care to learn how my thoughts process. You don’t care to know me any better. Or you just don’t try to.

    Yelling at a person and getting louder everytime they attempt to explain further what their opinion is and why will never work anything out. Oh and let’s not forget that I was asked for my opinion. I was simply tired of talking about it.

    But now I guess you will just never know that I think we can talk all day and that will never get anywhere. I think instead of talking we should be taking action. If we want to see how something works, let’s experience it. Stop talking and do. I keep throwing scenarios in when discussing things, because I feel that it’s important to go into new things with an intelligent assessment of all posibilities in order to be prepared for and prevent issues. Most see it as me being negative or fearful. Perhaps I am. I see it as cautious, intelligent, and realistic. Is attacking me by yelling at me and not letting me get a word in to defend myself really the best way to respond?

    I can’t do this anymore. I am just too sensetive to be in your life.

    Are you that afraid? WvR

    by  • June 18, 2018 • 0 Comments

    Are you really that afraid?
    Afraid of me?
    Afraid of what you feel?
    Afraid of what you might feel?
    Afraid of giving in?
    Giving in of what you’re feeling ….
    Feeling for me ….

    You are a coward WvR, that’s what you are!
    Just keep denying, just keep ignoring, just keep running, just keep being afraid ….

    You will miss out on everything!


    by  • June 18, 2018 • 0 Comments

    I miss you. I’d love to see you again but I have had too much rejections from you now. I can’t take another one. I know you have wonderful plans and I hope you’d make you dream come true very soon. I believe in you and I know you are destined to be great.

    I guess this is goodbye from me now. Thank you for sharing your life and for creating beautiful memories with me. I just hoped you gave me more time to show you mine. But I guess, you have become impatient – just like the rest. I cannot blame you. It takes time for me to fully open up. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for being a part of my life. Sending my hug and enjoy your next journey..