• * Question

    by  • January 31, 2015 • 0 Comments

    Have u ever wanted to ask or tell sum1 something but u not so sure if u wana know wot the answer will be or if u can handle the persons reaction? Its sucks!!so u rather keep quiet & try hard to not let the thought bother u.. N.Carter

    I am enough, when will you realize this.

    by  • January 31, 2015 • 2 Comments

    Dear you,

    I’m gonna be second singles on our varsity tennis team this year. I’ve worked hard for it. The long days, early mornings, and late nights. Studying technique, practicing ground strokes, volllys, serves, I deserve it. But when I’m off the court, the world is there waiting, and so are you.

    At first, you were nice, cute. Telling me I’m good at tennis, “wow, what a good serve.” Etc. but then you were too much. Driving me crazy!! Everything I do now on the court isn’t good enough. My serve isn’t fast enough, volllys don’t have enough angle, etc.

    I have worked my butt off to get this spot on the team. Yes, all my previous spots weren’t bad. I’ve always been on varsity since the first time I’ve set foot on the court. But this is the spot I’ve always wanted. Yeah, first would be better you tell me, but the girl who first was awarded to deserves it. She has been playing since she was born. And I’m perfectly fine with second. But thou aren’t.

    Well I’ve decided that I am enough and I’m done listening to everything you say. You are the reason I play. Because when I’m on the court, tennis is all that matters. Not you or anyone esle, when your watching me, you don’t exist. Whatever is outside the court, stays outside the court. So I will stay inside this court, and you outside, because I am done with you.

    Goodbye, and good riddance.

    The tennis player

    You make my heart skip a beat

    by  • January 31, 2015 • 0 Comments

    Reading your words made my heart sing. I literally can’t stop smiling and it’s all because of you. You asked me if there was anything that I wanted u to do and there is. I want u to ask me to be your girlfriend. I want to be yours. Is that a possibility? Maybe I’m being too bold. Maybe your not ready but honestly I hope u are. I’m only sorry it’s taken me this long to come around.

    I long for u. Now is the time to release that passion. My heart belongs with you. Say yes?

    -a

    How can you tell?

    by  • January 31, 2015 • 0 Comments

    The other night I spent almost and hour and a half calling anybody in my contact list I figured might have had stitches before. It was 1 a.m. in the morning so not a lot of people picked up. I’d call and when they would pick up and I would ask “how can you tell if a wound is deep enough to need stitches?” Most everyone I called would ask
    “Can you see the bone? Is there a hole? Is it gushing blood?”
    I would say “No it’s just split in two! It’s not deep it’s just long and all I see is white meat.”
    Everyone said if it was split to the point it would close on it’s own then I needed to go in and get it looked at. And then they would ask what happened. I fed everyone a lie about an accident with some broken glass. The truth is I had an emotional… well not a breakdown, but an emotional something. And in the midst of my emotional something I broke the guard around the razors you use to shave and I pressed the open blade hard into my skin and I swiped it all the way across. I’ve had issues with cutting for some years. They were never big cuts, or deep cuts, always small and in places nobody ever noticed. I would do the inside of my arm, a hip, a shoulder. In the 7 or so years I’ve done it I’ve been able to hide it amazingly, or maybe it’s just nobody cares enough to notice. The couple scars that are noticeable each have their own custom made lie. Its weird because I’m the most honest person you’ll meet…until it comes to the scars. It has always come in waves. I might have a little incident and may go a 3 months, 6, a year without doing it again. I think the longest I went was 2 years, I thought I had made it you know?
    Well anyway this time was different. This time after I looked down and saw what I did and saw all the blood start pouring out I got scared. I got a napkin and covered it up super quick and in my head I kept trying to think that maybe the cut wasn’t that big. I would pull the napkin back and sit there completely in shock and then cover it back up. I walked into my bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror and was in disbelief at what I did to myself. And after I sat there for a while I decided to wrap it up and see if it was still as bad later in the morning.
    Of course in the morning it was still the big ass gaping cut it had been before I went to sleep.
    6 shots of numbing solution, 22 stitches, and a thousand lies about broken glass later I’ve really been wondering if maybe that was rock bottom for me… but how can you tell right? It’s rhetorical, I don’t need your answers.
    I just wanted that off my chest. That’s what really happened.

    Dear society, you suck.

    by  • January 30, 2015 • 0 Comments

    My lungs burn, my heart races, and my body sweats. But I don’t feel it really. My senses have become numb.

    It started in 8th grade, I was insecure, and when others made a comment about me I believed it wholeheartedly. My sister’s boyfriend called me fat, more than once, I believed him.

    I quit eating, started to try harder in sports, and workout more. Now I have become addicted.

    Only two of my friends have I ever told, now I want to tell you. You hurt me. You kicked me when I was down. I don’t even want to exist any more because of you. I’m not talking about my sister’s boyfriend, I’m talking about society, after he told me I was fat you seconded it. Everywhere I looked models were skinny and tall. But when I looked in the mirror I was short and fat.

    So I changed myself. I may never be tall but now, if I work hard, I can be skinny. Maybe one day when I am skinny someone will love me.
    Maybe.

    Sincerely,
    A teenage girl