• Why I hate you.

    by  • April 15, 2014 • 0 Comments

    Hello.

    Just wanted to let you know that you can go fuck yourself.

    For the times you put pictures of your dick online and tried to get randoms to hook up with you.
    For the time you tried to stick your dick in someone else’s vagina.
    For the times that you told me I needed to “shut the fuck up”.
    For the times that you lied.
    For the times you hooked up with other people.
    For the times you fucking went online to meet other women.
    For the times that you left me somewhere and expected me to walk home alone.
    For the times you fucking acted like I wasn’t worth shit.
    For the times you insinuated (and sometimes explicitly said) that I was fat.
    For the times you blamed me for everything.
    For the times you told me that you disliked something about my physical appearance.
    For the times you told me that all you wanted was a “trophy wife”.
    For the times you tell me that I’m a pain in the ass.
    For the times you complain about me being annoying.
    For the times that I only try to help and all you do is complain about me.
    For the times that I fucking helped you when you were struggling and you never returned the favor.
    For the times you hung up on me.
    For the times you hit me.
    For the times you punched me.
    For the times that I bled because of your violence.
    For the times that I got fucking bruises from you grabbing me.
    For the times that you fucking wrapped your hands around my neck as if to choke me.
    For the times that you said you were imagining someone else when we were having sex.
    For the fucking times that you made me lose my friends.
    For the times you said you didn’t want to look at me when we were having sex because it disgusted you.
    For the times that you allowed yourself to get out of control.
    For the times you called me stupid.
    For the times you said that I needed to get a real job.
    For the fucking times you told me that I was an embarrassment to you.

    I hate you. You really fucked me up. But look on the bright side, I will never again date someone as horrible as you.

    Apology

    by  • April 15, 2014 • 0 Comments

    I’m sorry.
    I’m sorry that I betrayed your trust.
    I’m sorry that we won’t ever be the the same.
    I’m sorry that I can’t make you happy anymore.
    I’m not apologizing to make myself feel better, no, this is an apology that I’m too scared to actually give you..
    I walked to your front door and forced myself to knock, waiting for someone to answer was the longest wait in the world.
    My heart was pounding so loud I felt like the people walking past could hear it.
    I was going to give you a chocolate bar, because I couldn’t think of anything better to give you :/
    Thoughts were rushing through my head, I knocked a socially acceptable second time, still no one answered..
    I waited acouple more minutes and was debating to knock again..
    Before I knew it my legs were taking me further and further away from that door, I couldn’t bring myself to wait any longer. It was awful
    I still have the chocolate bar. I’ve texted you and I’ve tried to get into contact with you, but you won’t reply.
    I understand you don’t want anything to do with me, but I want you to know I will always care about you, and I don’t think I can ever be as happy as I was when I was with you,
    I’m so sorry.

    do you hear me?

    by  • April 15, 2014 • 0 Comments

    I miss you every day, dad. Your death really screwed me up. Dad i just didn’t know what to do. You were my safety net. The one person i could always count on you. You left me too soon. I only had 33yrs w you. I feel like you still had so much to teache. Damn you taught me so much and i feel we weren’t finished. Dad do you know how much i miss you? Can you hear me? Please i want to see you again. Please tell me there is a God so i can see you again. Please its just not possible we rot in the ground. That would be too easy. There has got to more. I love you daddy. Do you hear me? Please just show me u are with me. I need to know. Dad i love u. I have faith i’ll see u again. Our bond was so strong i just know this isn’t the end. I love u dad. Do u hear me?

    The cat and the steal capped boots

    by  • April 15, 2014 • 0 Comments

    The white cat liked to walk around on the streets seeing all the sights and enjoying all the smells. Sometimes the fish vendor would throw offcuts its way which would always make it happy.

    One day, the cat was walking down the street when a kind lady noticed it. She knelt down and called it over. The cat was apprehensive at first, but the lady looked kind and walk over and gently rubbed its head against her leg. The woman stroke the cat gently behind the ears and after a while gently picked up the cat and put it in her lap. The cat lay back and enjoyed the affection it has missed out on for so long. It lay back and enjoyed the gentle hands showing care. Time stood still.

    After a while the lady had to move on, she said “Don’t get the wrong idea, I can’t take you home or anything, but enjoy this short time we have had together.” The cat sat on the side of the street watching the lady walk away, a little sad to see her go, but feeling deeply at piece know it was loved, even by a stranger.

    A few days later a pair of steal capped boots walked past. The man was in some kind of uniform. He noticed the cat can stopped. The cat looked at the man, walked over to him and rubbed its head against the steal capped boots. The man looked down and though, how cute and picked the cat up and took it home.

    Once home the man gave the cat some milk and set aside a place for the cat to sleep. An old army blanket seamed much nicer to the cat than sleeping on the street. The cat drifted off to sleep dreaming of what tomorrow might bring.

    When the cat woke up, the sun was already up. It lazily stretched and started gingerly stalking about the place. Soon the steal capped boots came came hurriedly walking past, the man was late. He didn’t see the cat and accidentally stood on its tail! The cat screeched in pain, the man almost lost his balance as the cat cowered in the corner. He said, sorry cat, but I am in a hurry I must go.

    The cat lounged around all day until the late afternoon when the man came back from his rushed overloaded life. The cat was so glad to see the man that it rolled over exposing its underbelly just waiting to be tickled… the man walked right passed without even noticing. The cat rolled back onto its paws and looked confused.

    Everyday for years the same thing happened. The cat would roll over hoping for some affection, the best it would get would be the occasional hurried tickle under the chin, the worst that would happen would be when the steel capped boots would stand on a paw or a tail. The man never intentionally harmed the cat, but would get more and more annoyed by this cat who constantly seamed to get under his feet.

    All the cat wanted was some genuine love and affection, but it would never find it from the man with the steel capped boots.

    I Miss You.

    by  • April 15, 2014 • 0 Comments

    I miss you. Do you miss me? Probably not, right? You haven’t attempted to talk to me in weeks. Usually you would text me random things that happen in your life but I haven’t heard from you in a while. How’s life treating you? How’s school? I really do miss just being able to talk to you about anything. I’m tempted to just pick up my phone and text you but I know that I can’t. I have to get over you. If we just stop talking maybe I’d have a chance of moving on with my life. I find that there’s not one second that my mind is not occupied with thoughts of you. I bury myself in school work so that I don’t have time to miss you. It sounds so pathetic, right? But that’s the thing, I don’t want to feel this way anymore. Sometimes I wish I could erase all the memory of you from my head. Maybe my life would be easier. Or maybe there would be a void in my heart that was only filled when I met you. I wonder if you’ve ever felt the same. But then again, if you did then you would talk to me on a regular basis. But you don’t. Sometimes I want to believe that you feel the same, but I know I’m only dreaming. This is why I need to let you go. I know that I say it way too many times but this time, it’s different. This time I mean it. I think it’s time that I retreated entirely. I truly think this is best for both of us. I hope all the best for you in life. I hope you succeeded in everything you that you do and all that you wish for come true. You will never understand how much I love you. And I won’t let you. This is a goodbye. So goodbye, my love.

    Don’t kid yourself

    by  • April 15, 2014 • 0 Comments

    Perfection blurs peoples perception of a good life. You, you think you are good at everything, always right and as close to perfect as you can accept. Me the definition of not good enough, crazy, poor, selfish whatever else you want to call me. Words like daggers dont hurt me like that anymore. You arent perfect you are a coward. If i am not perfect enough for you then why cant you have the guts to let me go and be with someone that satisfys you more than i can? because you love me? or because you are scared that no one else will be as tolerant and as excepting of you and your behaviour as am i.
    I love you and as much as it hurts to be with you it will hurt to much to let go. So we are stuck. Stuck in this tourtuious cycle of love and hate that tireing us out.

    R

    Joan

    by  • April 15, 2014 • 0 Comments

    I miss your voice in my ear, how you keep the family together with the glue that was your soul. I hurt and hurt and I am sad for the loss of a grandmother and the mother of my father. How much must he hurt everyday without you here. I hope you can see me, I hope that you are with me I hope that you love me. I hope I am there for as long as I can be for anyone that loves me. Because the loss that I feel is un describeable and nothing can replace the void that you have left. I love you.

    Movies

    by  • April 15, 2014 • 0 Comments

    I sit and watch and wish you were here or l there watching together.