we sit 2 feet away
cross-legged on the ground
I peck your lips
you smile shyly
it’s not the first I’ve had
(flickering almost memories)
I always forget the basket at the supermarket
until my arms are overflowing
I always forget to stop
until my heart is overflowing
you cast a shadow everywhere you touched
(I made you a crown)
crease in the couch
(you discreetly held my hand)
he doesn’t know the things that happened in his bed
I know our relationship wasn’t perfect. Despite what anyone says, there’s no such thing as a perfect anything. We had our ups and downs but still created something nothing short of beautiful. You helped me grow as a person and were definitely someone I could lean on for support. For that, I want to say Thank You. Thanks for making me laugh, allowing me to be vulnerable and helping me realize my full potential. Above all, I thank you for being my best friend.
Even though you were the one to officially end things between us, I want you to know that I don’t hold any resentment towards you. If anything, I feel guilty that I could not be the person to give you what you wanted. If only life were that easy…
In truth, I was a bit blindsided by the news. It took a while for reality to set in. I knew things had been shaky before the start of summer, but I didn’t want to believe that it could all be over so quickly. Even though what we once had is now shattered into two, it is going to take me a while to fully let you go. This is especially difficult because I still have so much love and respect for you. I long for it to become easier.
You have said in the past that if anything were to happen to us, you’d want to keep me as a life-long friend. Eventually, I would love to be that person to you. For the time being, however, I need space to sort my head and learn how to be my own person again. If somehow we don’t find friendship in the months to come, I’d like to tell you that these last two years with you were incredible and I wouldn’t trade the memories for the world. I only wish you the best in your future ventures.
Best of luck & until later,
If you taught me anything, it was to stop trusting people on online dating websites. You made yourself into a dream I did not want to wake up from. Digitally, you were the whole package. You came from a good family, you go to church on Sundays, you have a career, your own home, and a dog named Toby. You made me laugh when we Skyped, and when we talked on the phone, you told me stories of your childhood spent on your grandparent’s farm. You told me my passion for cooking made me attractive, but I needed to learn to enjoy drinking coffee. You asked me about my days and often talked with me through the nights about life on the road, home-brewed beer, and the plans we had for our future. At one point you told me you loved me.
I can understand why your wife married you, seven years before I came into the picture. When you want to be, you’re a really good guy. You just lived a double life. One, I was unknowingly being dragged into and helping to create. It was only through a mutual friend halfway across the country that I found out about her and the newborn daughter you welcomed into the world just a few days ago. I want to make it known that carrying the title of “the other woman” was never something I wanted to have. But it became permanently imprinted on my identity when you had the decency to lie to me about it all.
You’ve already ghosted and blocked my number. One can only hope that you’re stepping up and becoming the father and husband your family needs you to be, and not that you’re hiding online, waiting for the next girl who’ll be naive enough to shower you with attention, like I once did. I’ve toyed with the ideas of sending ya’ll a congratulations card in the mail and calling your wife one day when you’re not home to explain everything, but as much pain as you put me in, for your sake, I’m not going to be messing around with any of that. I truly want you and your family to succeed.
I hope you learn from your mistakes and stay off the internet for a little while. Live a better life. I sure will.