To all my dear boys: I love you all so much more than I think I’ll ever be able to articulate. You are all so beautiful in so many different and remarkable ways. Whenever I talk to any of you, I invariably smile and fall a little more in love with you…your sarcasm, your light, your slight-but-endearing twist of insanity. I die a little inside when you tell me your experiences of hate and violence, but feel such an intense rush of love for the strength and grace that you bring with you out of all those trials that I often have to remind myself to breathe again afterwards. I hate when you can’t be yourselves, but I love that you share yourselves and your stories with me, and I feel so privileged to be your confidante, sister, and occasional hetero-true love.
I’m so sick of hearing people say “you’ll meet someone when you stop looking/ stop thinking about it.” That’s bullshit. Worst advice ever.
Sometime I wish I could just brush off that night like it wasn’t a big deal, but I can’t. We shared something so intimate and that’s not to be taken lightly.
I apologize for my contributions to the mess and misunderstandings that followed, but I can’t apologize for the way I feel/felt…only the way I acted as a result.
IN all honesty, I got carried away. Even though we both said it wasn’t going to go anywhere, part of me hoped it would. I was acting on impulse and not wisely.
I hope we both find happiness and love, wherever and whenever that may be.
I hope the rest of this year can be okay between us.
I’m afraid of being alone – of never finding that one special person. My life is so rich in many ways, I have the world’s greatest mother, many supportive friends, and an education that will get me far in life. I am comfortable on my own and I love who I am. I don’t NEED someone else to be whole, but that doesn’t mean I don’t sorely WANT someone. What if I never find that person? OR worse, what if I spend my life with the wrong one?
I hope to God that I find that person, but I’d rather be alone for life than with someone who doesn’t treat me right.
I’m in my twenties, so some might say, “stop whining! YOu’re so young.
You have plenty of time!”…not very helpful.
I guess I should count my blessings and recognise that love comes in
many forms. I HAVE found love – in my family and friends….but is it
selfish of me to want more than that?
You live your life day to day thinking that you are the greatest gift to mankind (and womankind, since it appears you swing both ways).
You know what? You’re not. You’re a dickhead. And your dental veneers will fall out and you’ll be left with the real, yellowed, decrepit teeth underbeneath. And your teeth will show your true soul. And you won’t be King of the World anymore.
Not so pretty any more, are you?
I feel right curt at the moment so I ‘s just gonna straight way say that mind of mine’s content. Les’ or more, either works, the routeen of cancelin’ on person with darn nayer no notice ain’t what be considerd consid’rat. It ventures in the opposit direction of bein’ negatavely consid’rat. what they call inconsid’rat. I reckon cancelin’ do be done from time tah time. It be necesseray on ‘ccasion. P’rhaps even oft’n. Those cases, time seem as it ought be given to the ‘im bein’ cancl’d on. Forty five minutes seem like darn nayer no time to me. Ain’t even ‘nough time to pack lunch. Paid to eat ‘lone that day. Was good eatin’, though.
There is, ‘s well, that pa’t about the consistansee. New job with mos’ certancy is a nayer spotless reson to divurt plans. So was ol’ job an’ new sc’ool an’ new house an’ family an’ pretty much all things always. ‘t ‘s fine. All ‘mportan’ stuff. Jus’ seems I always am t’h end of the rope. If that’s my lot, I take wit’ a wide grin. However, a littl’ time, a littl’ notice for us down here at t’h end would be mighty pleasin’.
Thanks for your ears,