I’m not entirely sure if I am supposed to write this. Or send it.
But I know I’ll at least write it out to get it out because I am a
small person and having thoughts in my head isn’t always
I’m also not sure exactly what I ought to write. I think I’ll just
be frank. I’m writing this in hopes that you can reconfirm what
I’ve said or correct it. So reconfirm or correct.
I know I ought not to over think anything, but I do. I don’t try to
I feel a huge, uncomfortable balance in our friendship. I feel like I
made this mistake of valuing our friendship too much. This is where
you could correct. I’m going to tell you why because perhaps I just
see things weird. This will give you the opportunity to say, “Whoa,
Georgia, chill.” Or give you the opportunity to say, “Lay off.”
This letter has been composed in my head as I’ve ridden the bus. I
think I need to get it out so I can stop thinking about it.
I’ve come to consider you a close friend. Step beyond acquaintance.
I’m able to relax, let my guard down with you. I can make music, I
can hear music. Your one of the more real people out there and it’s
refreshing. I can sit in a Jack in the Box parking lot with you and
eat tacos. Ok, I guess I could do that with other people but I
haven’t felt the need to.
Here is what makes me think I ought to give you more space.
I can remember once when you took the initiation to hang out – and
that was for the cello part before I went.
Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, it would be great if I was. I
feel like I need to express these insecurities. I communicate. You
need to tell me if I need to back off and stop hanging out with you.
That would be a lot better for me than me being uncertain if I was
being obnoxious and a burden.
I currently have nothing to loose. Nothing. It’s not like I see you
I’m telling you this so you know how it comes across to me. That you
would rather not see me. What do I do with friends? I hang out with
them. That is all it is. I’m a social person. I enjoy spending time
with people. You are one of the few people left in Moscow, it would
make sense to me if I saw you once in 3-6 weeks. I might as well be
back in Austria. I see Emily from Olympia more than you. That’s
around an hour trip each way.
Anyways, now you know. It frustrates me.
You can pretty much write out either:
a) Yeah. Georgia. Back-off. You’re getting on my nerves.
b) You people of the opposite gender are just too analytical.
c) I am antisocial and think that hanging out is weird
Please communicate, it would me a lot to me. I’m not one for feeling
like I need to confront people but you are extremely confusing. I
can’t really read people well so now I wonder if I was boring you to
death when we did hang out. Was I bugging you to oblivion to the point
where you didn’t ever think, “Golly gee whiz, maybe I’ll see if
my friend can play today.”
Speak up. I want closure or continuous – but none of this luke-warm