• Just Another Number

    by  • July 25, 2010 • 0 Comments

    You were the first guy I had those types of feelings for. The first time we met, sparks flew. We connected on a level that I never knew existed in me. It all led to a night of magic. In a crowded and noisy room, I was you just and me. We were in your room for a short time, but it felt like forever and I was in heaven. Then all in an instant, it ended. You created a hole in me that will take a long time, by someone very special, to fill. Although we no longer talk, when our paths cross, be it even for 30 seconds, the chills rock me with a force that knocks the wind out of my chest. You literally leave me breathless. It’s that smile. That imperfect, but somehow beyond perfection smile that comes to you with such ease. I can’t tear my eyes away from it. Yet, you live your life, carefree and oblivous to the effect of your presence. I really wish I could tell you how much I hated you and every bad thing I wish would happen to you. But the truth is, if I had the chance, I’d spend another night with you in the blink of an eye. The worst part of it all? I know I was just another number.

    It’s complicated

    by  • July 25, 2010 • 1 Comment

    I love 3 women, all for different reasons. To the one i talk about all the time here, I love you and have felt that way for too many years. You will be the last to ever know. That is if i ever admit it to you. You’re already taken. You’ll probably be long gone by then and it wouldn’t have even mattered. I wish it was just you… but now… it’s complicated. I just accept that it wasn’t meant to be. I feel like i’ll never be whole ever again and alone with my thoughts. Back into the bottle i go…

    Silly boy

    by  • July 24, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Hey you,

    I like you, and you know it. I’m pretty sure you like me. Why won’t you just call me? I like you because you’re all mellowed out, but this playing it cool stuff is wearing me thin.

    Always, Me

    i never got over you

    by  • July 24, 2010 • 0 Comments

    i sat down to write you this letter only to realize i’ve been writing these for three and a half years.

    i’m sorry i was who i was, i’m sorry i messed things up, and i’m sorry that i’m not over you. but i never will be.

    i still love you, and regardless, i hope that your life is always as beautiful and happy as it seems right now.

    goodbye…

    i want you

    by  • July 22, 2010 • 0 Comments

    M,

    You’re being stupid, to be entirely honest.

    What happened to, “You’re amazing” or “Don’t worry about that, you’re better than that”?

    Now it’s just “Fuck you” and, “I don’t care about your opinion.”

    You can’t fool me M. I know you, and I know that no matter how much you tell us all that you, “don’t give a fuck”, you do. You do, and you always will. H ripped you in two. We all know it, are you the only one that doesn’t? She’s exactly what you wish you could be. Emotionless. Incapable of being hurt.

    That’s not you M. You can be hurt, and you are hurt. And in your efforts to keep yourself from feeling all that pain you’re hurting the rest of us.. and you’re really hurting me.

    I never asked for a relationship. I knew from the start we would not work. Our personalities clash too much, you always speaking in riddles and I always saying directly what I think.

    Despite all these things about you that I cannot stand, I can’t seem to get away from you. We’re constantly being smushed into situations together, being forced to sit in the same room for an evening, sitting next to each other in a 6 hour car ride.

    I want you. I’m not afraid to admit it anymore, so want me back.

    We won’t ever be good for a relationship together, that’s obvious. But there is so much pent up emotion between the two of us, what are we ever going to do about it?

    You let me know.

    We didn’t care

    by  • July 22, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Nobody wanted us together. They all said that we were bad for each other. They told me that you were cheating and they told you that I was a gold digger. But see what I found funny about that was you didn’t have much money since I was the one to almost always pay. And how I knew you weren’t cheating because you were always where you said you would be. They were just trying to break us up. But neither of us cared what they said. Then when I got pregnant they tried even harder it seemed and talked more shit. But again neither of us cared. We were happy together. We loved each other. So what happened? How come we started caring? Why did we let them get to us? Where did the love go? And why did we let go?