You lied my whole life.
About who you are and who you were and most importantly what you did and wanted to do.
She ripped all your photos down from the walls.
I still have all your fathers day cards, photos, gifts, and drawings.
I want you to rot in your cage.
The worst of it is, you will never be man enough to apologize.
I would never forgive you, but then I would know for at least one moment of my life you actually gave a damn.
I’m fully aware of how you’re playing me, even still. I know that you’re no good for anything, but I can’t seem to quit talking to you, or to actually tell you that I do, in fact, know what you’re up to. But I do know, and I shouldn’t ever talk to you again.
I’ve never been the one to hurt anyone and it scares me to think that I could possibly hurt you. I just feel trapped in this emotionless pit of a relationship with you. The fire is gone and the butterflies have escaped me. I no longer get excited when your name appears on my caller id, instead I dread the dull conversation that is to come. I fake happy when you ask what’s up because I don’t want to have to tell you what I’m really thinking. I’m scared to end this, because when we’re together it feels right. It’s the times we’re apart that I question our bond. I’m scared to admit any of this because I fear I’d regret it in the future.
What scares me the most though is that you might actually agree.
I really can’t stand being here anymore. Both of you are slowly ruining my life and making me so stressed I don’t want to wake up anymore. I feel like there is so much pressure on me from problems that aren’t even mine, that I have to fix that I can’t breathe. Everyday just gets worse, and I’m only happy when I’m not here. I wish you both would learn to be adults and take care of yourself instead of forcing it on your children.
Here is a letter
to the forces that be
thank you for summer
climbing a tree.
Thank you for mornings
that turn into noons
thanks for the sunshine
and all of the moons.
Thanks for the flowers
the fruits and the smiles,
thanks for the bike rides
and all of those miles.
Thanks for the picnics with
family and friends,
thanks for the months
that we hope never end.
Most of all thanks for
those memories dear.
They’ll help me to get through
christmas this year!
I’m embarrassed by my behavior, I truly am.
My words were harsh and some came spewing out without thinking. I had a point, but I had no right to make that point by the words I used.
I was wrong.