• To Aven, August 22,2010

    by  • August 22, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Aven, I lost you. I don’t know where, but I did. It gets less depressing soon I promise… But anyway… It’s been over a year and here it is… your birthday. I cried for you today at the foot of an angel. Love has not stopped at all. Not one day. It’s there. Unconditional even through all that you put me through. You’re so amazing, but You’re an ass. You are a grade A asshole. Stop being a jerk and let people love you and love them back. This doesn’t mean me. Just LOVE. Stop being afraid and stop taking real love for granted. Happy 20th birthday dearest. I didn’t forget your birthday. Like I told you I wouldn’t. Y’asshole.

    Dear You.

    by  • August 22, 2010 • 1 Comment

    Dear you,

    You know who you are.

    I want you to know that I’ve fallen head over heels for you but I don’t want to tell you because I’m horrified of losing you. But I’m willing to test our friendship for our love. It’s obvious that you love me too, I can see it in your eyes. You’re the most valuable thing I have, and you’re not even mine. I’d hate to say that I almost wish we weren’t friends so we could hurt each other in the end. But I just want to love you they way you should be. I know that you probably won’t let me but I just want you to know what it feels like to be loved unconditionally by somebody who understands you and is willing to listen. You’ve shoved a knife through my heart twice, but I still come back to you because I refuse to give up on you. I can feel in your kiss that you want this as much as I do. Man up and finally ask me please.

    I’m begging you.
    I just want to be loved by you.
    And want you to be loved by me.

    I love you more than you could ever possibly know.

    What I should have said a while ago…

    by  • August 22, 2010 • 1 Comment

    We can’t all be great writers like you, and right now what I’m saying is straight from my stream of consciousness. I wasn’t going for eloquence here… but I’m writing this to you because I knew I probably wasn’t going to get a chance to say any of this to your face, even though I wanted to. I realized that I was probably going to face this situation with you sooner or later, where it gets to the point where you’re just running away from trying to face me. And I don’t know why.

    I still don’t know why we broke up really. I have no idea what you’re doing with your life or why you felt the need to cut me out of it. I have no idea if any of the things you said to me over our ten month relationship were true. But I really hope they were. I realized now how much of you is really tied in with who I am today. Everywhere I look I’m surrounded by traces of you. I can’t turn on my ipod without listening to a song that you shared with me. I can’t drive down the road near my house without passing by the empty field where we used to lay in the marigolds. Sometimes I just can’t look up at the stars without thinking about all the times I was in your arms, looking up at the sky and talking to you about the constellations or how small I felt in comparison to the rest of the universe. I miss the loud “vroom” of your car coming up the street. I miss how you would take care of me when I was sick or even just upset, and how you’d bring me tea or rub my back to make me feel better. I miss the song you wrote for me, it really did become my favorite song to listen to when I needed to be cheered up. I miss our random adventures to towns we had never heard of. I miss dancing with you, and how you didn’t get mad at me even when I stepped on your feet while waltzing. I miss waking up beside you and seeing that perfect, loving smile on your face. I miss every word, every laugh, every cry, every kiss, every hug, every moment that I spent with you or even just thinking about you. You were more than just my boyfriend, or my lover… you really did become my best friend, and one of the only men that I have ever fully trusted. You will always hold a special place in my heart that will not be filled by anyone else.

    However, I also understand that in your life, I am not what you need right now. And I love you so much that I will stand by and let you live your life and do what you need to do in order to obtain the happiness you deserve. I really hope you get everything you want and work for. You’re an amazing person, even when you don’t think you are.

    I hope that one day you’ll look back and think of me and the time we spent together, and smile. I really hope that one day I will get to see you again, and we can just sit and talk as if nothing changed. I hope that you and I will someday continue our adventures. I want nothing more in this life than to look in your eyes and still call you my friend. But if we don’t find our way back into each others lives, just know that I will always love you forever. And if you ever need me, I will never, ever abandon you.

    You’re still my reason.

    With love,
    Your Bianchi

    All i want is you

    by  • August 21, 2010 • 40 Comments

    First off thank you, thank you for being amazing and spending every minute of every day being exactly who you are. I’m scared and anxious and I wanna tell you all the feeling I have in my head and in my heart for you. When we talk I get butterflies and every time you pick up the phone when I call I stop breathing for a second.

    I wanna do whatever I can to show you how much you mean to me. I wanna give you the universe. I want to be around you on your best day ever and i want to be around you on your worst day ever. I wanna be the one you lay your head on when you cry and the one you get a tissue from when you’re sick. I would move heaven and earth for you the second you asked me to. I loved you when I first met you and I will love you the same when your ninety.

    All I want from you is a chance to prove myself. If you let me, I just know in my heart that I can make you happier than anyone else ever would because you have already made me happier than anyone else ever could.

    Thank u God. Gracias

    by  • August 21, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Hola. Soy yo otra vez. Solo quería daarte las gracias por la abundancia en mi vida. De verdad es fenomenal y nno me canso de agradecert por Mario y por el recién descubierto poder de la oración.

    Dos cosas más. Bendice a todas las almasatormentadas que escriben en ésta página para que encuentren tu paz, y con ella la felicidad, pronto. Y será posible que envíes al Espiritu Santo más seguido por donde yo este? Me encanta el olor a rosas!

    running back

    by  • August 21, 2010 • 0 Comments

    it’s officially been a year since our “relationship” blossomed. we didn’t last long, about two months at best. you led me on from day one.

    i remember it so vividly. we were at the park with two of my friends, you had your guitar out and were playing new music for your band. you had to leave to go to work, and hugged me. you looked me in the eyes, knowing what i was thinking. you asked me if you should kiss me. i said do whatever you feel is right, and you went for it.

    you said you loved me, we spent so much time together. i got a glimpse into your life that i had never seen before. it would take me two solid months before i realized you were a pathological liar. you never loved me the way you made it seem. i could have heard it in your music lyrics. i was so blind.

    i’m now dating an old friend of yours, but i can’t help but think of what could have been. you were my first real love, my only one next to my significant other. i wanted everything to do with you, and all i had to do was smile.

    it would have never worked out in the long run, though. your busy, social lifestyle doesn’t match my lazy stoner ways. you don’t smoke or drink, which makes me wonder why i ever even went for it. you’re my only friend who doesn’t party.

    you’re everything i want to be.
    i love you so much.
    i dont wish i was with you, as i am very much in love with my significant other.
    i do wish i could see what could have been though.

    its on my mind more often than you might think. you’re on my mind more than you might think.
    i’m trying to get over you, and it’s getting easier as time goes on.

    but there’s only so much a girl can take.
    get out of my head, and quit writing me love songs.