• Would it make a difference?

    by  • August 24, 2010 • 0 Comments

    If I said I remember our first date? Swing dancing, or as I like to call it making a fool of myself. I don’t know if you caught it, but when asked if we were dating I said “not at the moment” because I hoped that soon we would be. You had taken my breath away that night. No fancy clothes, just sweats, a white and pink t-shirt, your hair pulled back and a smile that instantly made me smile. No makeup needed, just the definition of amazing summed up.

    If I told you I remember our game of questions? What’s your favorite color? Green. Where is the one place you most want to see? Africa. What’s your favorite animal? It’s hard to have a favorite when you love them all.

    If I said I miss falling asleep on the couch with you sleeping in my arms as “Up” played on the television. And seeing with you the whole valley from atop Chickie’s Rock.

    What about if I told you I still can’t sleep… after all this time holding a body pillow just can’t compare. Rubbing your back, and cuddling close, whispering things in your ear. These things I can’t have yet I want more than ever.

    If I told you it’s all still here, the memories, the future, the present, everything’s near. I still can’t look at other girls without comparing them to you… It’s hard to beat perfection. Come back to me.

    Would it make a difference? Probably not, but I can hope. I miss you, SO MUCH

    learning to let go

    by  • August 24, 2010 • 0 Comments

    I have come to a point in my life where i must learn to let go, to let you go and be free with whoever you want to be with. I cannot let you live like this, wondering who i am. Because i am not the person you think i am. I am just someone who thinks i need more than what i already have. You are such an amazing friend and in the end it would be best for you to leave and never look back.

    You don’t realize what you mean

    by  • August 24, 2010 • 0 Comments

    I never knew I could love someone so much until I met you. You know that I love you, but I don’t think you know what that means. When I am with you it’s like nothing bad can happen. My problems disappear. You make me love who I am, and for that I love you more. I can see me being with you forever. Though we’ve never talked about it I know that we could get married and be happy. I see you being the father of my children. I want to wake up next to you every day, I want to take care of you. When I know you are sad it makes me sad and I would do anything in my power to put a smile on your face. When you don’t feel well I want to rush to your bedside and take care of you. You are my life, and I hope you always will be. I love you more than you will ever know.

    i kind of love you a little

    by  • August 24, 2010 • 0 Comments

    i love your notes. they always make me laugh and smile and feel better about life. the first time i met you, i almost dropped my bag – i was expecting you to be a lot older and a lot less adorable.
    i’m so glad we’re friends, even if i haven’t seen you in a year. and, by the way, i might love you just a little. if we’re ever in the same place at the same time again, we’ll find out.
    thanks for making me smile again today.

    i love your notes. they always make me laugh and smile and feel better about life. the first time i met you, i almost dropped my bag – i was expecting you to be a lot older and a lot less adorable.
    i’m so glad we’re friends, even if i haven’t seen you in a year. and, by the way, i might love you just a little. if we’re ever in the same place at the same time again, we’ll find out.
    thanks for making me smile again today.

    Cocooned

    by  • August 24, 2010 • 2 Comments

    The silky softness of your skin as we nestle together,
    your body a diminutive shadow in the darkness.
    The firm, rounded perfection of your flesh, which meshes
    with such inexplicable comfort to mine.

    When you slid into bed next to me before the lights were out,
    a brief glimpse of your warm, pink, secret places.
    Now hidden, but still making themselves known
    by their heat radiating gently against my skin.

    I brush your shoulder with my lips, lingering to savor the
    faint salty-sweet scent of your beautiful skin.
    I cup your hip in my hand like a firm, soft-fuzzed peach, still
    giving back the sun’s warmth.

    Now, as we lay together in the dark , I struggle to remain
    still and quiet, lest I wake you.
    While my brain, my heart, and my glands shout their joy
    with such abandon that you must surely hear.

    I smile to myself, unseen, as I think of the joyful
    giggles evoked earlier by a soft tracing of my fingertips
    along the gentle curve of your ribs, down your flank, and
    spidering playfully across your stomach.

    Being with you, I feel myself changing, as if our love
    is a cocoon from which I will emerge renewed and
    strengthened in the morning light. But I know
    I will return to your arms at the end of the day.

    I wish

    by  • August 24, 2010 • 0 Comments

    unbelievable how much it hurt when i found out you married her. but you know that. do you really love her? how can you possibly tell me that you love me then go and ask another woman to marry you? i dont get it. you sobbed like a little boy that day.. then pretty much asked her the next day. what was it about me that made you so unable to commit? i wasnt even asking for a commitment. why did your mother cry her eyes out to me and ask why i let you go? I didn’t let you go. why did u always keep our relationship such a secret? were u ashamed of me? was i not good enough for you?

    well there’s these things that I can never say to you. but i need to get them out of my head. it’s been too long and i can’t keep crying over you.

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