• Stop

    by  • July 1, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Stop it. Stop looking at me like you care about me. Stop acting like you like I’m beautiful. Stop staring into my eyes like you want to kiss me.

    You have a girlfriend, and we both know you’ll never leave her. We both know that it was just a kiss, a dumb mistake. Something to ignore and forget.

    We spent the day together and you put you arm around me. I pretended for awhile that we were something, but I shouldn’t have. Your girlfriend showed up and I had to laugh and smile and pretend that it didn’t hurt.

    This has to stop before it gets worse, before we hurt everyone around

    You have to stop making me feel loved, because it hurts too much when I remember you love someone else.

    A Broken-Hearted Friend

    Letters I’d Like to Send

    by  • July 1, 2010 • 0 Comments

    While I am genuinely saddened by the turn of business, and empathetic to your losses, I take no responsibility.

    As I remember, I was told you were unable to pay the settlement at the time of divorce, yet you were able to go out and purchase properties on Lake Washington. (I gave you the benefit of the doubt.) I can’t help but think that you would have one less creditor if you would have made the choice to pay off our settlement prior to the land purchases. And saved several thousand in life insurance premiums.

    While I love and admire your parents unconditionally, I hope their love for me is not based on our financial situation. You have earning power. I have only my investments to help me maintain my lifestyle for the next 40-50 years. While I have no regrets regarding our split, I am on my own financially with no other support. I will take the $200,000.

    And I feel you should be able to pay out 100% over your $120,000 salary (maybe with a cap of $500,000) annually until the debt is paid. $120,000 seems a very generous salary and then you get to add that to your spouse’s income. I should think that will enable you to live the lifestyle you are accustomed to or at least close (and know that it can only get better when the debt is paid). 

    I will add on the interest as what other means are there for hoping you may prioritize your payment to me? I am not your investor any longer. Your payment to me is relatively minor compared to your other debts and I would like you to just pay it off and be done!

    betrayal, love

    by  • July 1, 2010 • 0 Comments

    To the girl who broke his heart,

    I hate you so much for what you did to him, and to our friendship. While you sucked him into your world for 2 months I was left without him, only seeing him in between class and in the halls. Always with you. I tried to get to know you, and accept you as part of his life, and thus part of mine. But you wouldn’t let me in. And he trusted you. So I left him go, to be happy. How wrong I was. You cheated on him, and with another one of my friends! I found out, confronted you, and you seemed happy! Happy that you had a new toy. You asked me not to tell him. How could I not?  But I was stupid and didn’t tell him. Hoping I wouldn’t have to break his heart for you. Eventually he sought me out to complain about your distance. I wanted to cry when he asked me if I knew anything. I broke and told him. I broke his heart for you, while you trotted around with Jay. I wish you could have seen what you did to him, and regretted it. I loved him so much but let him go, so he could love you. You not only ruined him from ever trusting women again. But you ruined us. You ruined my friendships! The people I cared about! For some sick game of yours. I hate you. Why couldn’t you leave him alone? I hope this happens to one of your friends.

    -The Friend

    Time Changes Everything

    by  • July 1, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Looking back on our time together it feels hazy…like I’m looking in on somebody else’s life.  I steal glances at your Facebook page now and again and see that you have a new family and even friends.  Wow.  Friends.  That was a shock to see.

    When you were with me you really didn’t have any friends.  You didn’t talk to your mom or communicate with your family. I guess that should have been my first clue.

    I never thought that I would love again after we broke up.

    I would go to sleep screaming, my eyes burning with tears, my voice hoarse.  I would wake up from dreams of you with the reality flushing in that we were no more and I would begin my cry all over again.  Dread filled my waking hours.  Some days I would suddenly jolt from my desk because my emotions would overwhelm me.  I spent hours talking to family and deciphering the reality of my situation.  I went to counseling.  I worked hard to see you for who you are instead of who I wanted you to be.

    When you left, I had promised you that you would never be loved by anyone as much as I loved you.

    And now it’s all so hazy.

    Time has given me clarity.  Your hold on me, sometimes gripping, has become weaker and weaker with each passing day.

    The anger that I should have felt when I discovered your infidelities and lies…the anger from the hickeys, secret phone calls and internet history has still yet to surface.  But I think that has much more to do with me than it does with you.

    You are destined to replay the same history that you played with me and every person before me.

    You are a schmuck and a liar.  You are a whore.  You are ugly.  You are a fake. You will never feel love because you know you don’t deserve it.  You will live with your new family until they get wise. And before she can kick you to the curb, you’ll already have lined up somebody else to move in with.  You are very smart in that way.  It’s like you can smell when to take flight.

    I’ve had revenge fantasies of calling your wife and letting her in on the secret that when you first met each other you were still living with me.  When you were in the throes of your budding romance, you were still spending every Tuesday night with me, declaring your undying love.  One night you  called me crying, begging me to take you back, that you had made a horrible mistake…and even though I had prayed for such a phone call…the reality was that I finally had learned who you were…and I couldn’t fathom going back to you.  All of those fantasies don’t matter to me.  I’m not a mean person and I wouldn’t do that to somebody else (her, not you).  She will find out in her own due time.

    I am so happy without you.  I don’t worry any longer that you might be having an affair on me (which you were) and I don’t stress that I’m not enough for you (which I was).

    I am completely and madly in love with a man who treats me well.  He shows his love by his acts of service and follows through on his words.  When he tells me he loves me I believe him.  His words count for something.  He doesn’t feel the need to lie about upgrading a necklace from white gold to platinum (even though you did no such thing).

    So, this is just me telling you that I’ve broken my promise.  I don’t love you.  And since I never really knew you, I guess I never loved you.

    I wish you peace.

    And karma.

    You know How to Save a Life

    by  • July 1, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Dear Flip

    You have no idea that you just saved my life. I’ve been so depressed for the last week and i was close to my breaking point. Last night talking to you made me feel so much better and saved my a long night filled with tears. I love you and I always will . Please come back soon


    by  • July 1, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Dear A.

    I love your green eyes. I love the way you play the sax. I love when try to dance, even if you are horrible at it. I love when we are the only two awake. I love that you like poetry, and jazz. I love your art. I love the way you walk down a crowded street with me. I love when you drive to me. I love when you comfort me, and make me feel safe. I love that you’re my best friend. I love that you can smile and it seems like the whole world turns into sunshine. I love that you can bake, and like it. I love that you teach me things about myself. I love when you laugh so hard you slap your knee. I love when you wear a hat. I love the secrets you left me know. I love those small moments when I can really see who you are, and not what you project. I love the way your lips are perfect. I love how passionate you are towards what you love. I love that you love your parents. I love when I can talk to you and not be worried about being judged. I love the way you play the drums, and how proud I feel for you when you do it. I love that our hands fit together, even if you don’t realize it. I love that you are finally happy, even if its not with me. I love you.