• My Fairytale

    by  • June 19, 2010 • 0 Comments

    I have prayed for someone like you in my life for so many nights and finally you are in my life. When I look at what I have been through it seems like nothing in comparison to the struggles you have been through. When I want to give up, I just remember that you have had so much telling you to give up, but you have made it through all of it. I keep asking you to tell me why you are so amazing, but you never seem to be able to answer it, so I will answer it for you.

    • You are amazing because you have been through hell and back and chose not to take the easy path.
    • You are amazing because you are so generous with what you have.
    • You are so amazing because you are full of encouraging words just when I need them.
    • You are amazing because you make me feel completely comfortable at all times.
    • You are amazing because you can sing like an angel and play the piano better than Beethoven. You are amazing because you never fail to make me smile and laugh every time I talk to you or see you.
    • You are amazing because I am a better person since knowing you.
    • You are amazing because you chose to use your experiences and become a better person rather than using them as an excuse.
    • You are amazing because you inspire everyone around you and you don’t even know it.
    • You are amazing because I feel like I can really trust you.
    • You are amazing because you are drop dead gorgeous on the inside and outside.
    • You are amazing because I can call you whenever and not feel like an inconvenience.
    • You are amazing because you know when I am lying about being okay.
    • You are amazing because you cook me 5 star meals.
    • You are amazing because you take me on the best trips of my life.
    • You are amazing because you send me texts to say you are thinking about me.
    • You are amazing because you are deep, but know how to be funny.
    • You are amazing because you live your life for you and not the opinions of those around you.
    • You are amazing because I love you with all my heart and would go to the ends of the earth of you and back.

    Thank you for being my angel this year during such a difficult time. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without you. I have never met someone who provides so much with words of affirmation. I am thankful for you every day and you are truly a blessing in my life. I am a better person because of you.

    Priorities

    by  • June 19, 2010 • 0 Comments

    You text me. You IM me. You tell me how much I turn you on. You say that you so enjoy talking to me. During our first conversation, you said you hadn’t been so turned on in a long time. You came up with a hot role play situation, and we haven’t even met yet. Every conversation we have intensifies the suspense. You said that I was on your brain hardcore, and you were so in the mood.

    So when it comes down to actually meeting and doing all the sexy things we’ve been talking about for a month, you say you’ve had a long week and can’t stay awake.

    What the hell is wrong with your brain? You can’t stay awake for sex?! With a cute girl who likes it the same ways you do?!?! Whose only relationship requirement is regular pleasing for both? For God’s sake, get your priorities in order!

    home

    by  • June 19, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Nothing feels right without you… I see you in everything I do and I want to tell you every night what I did today. How could we just throw away 4 years like this? I miss everything about you. It’s your arms I want wrapped around me at night, it’s you I want to kiss me goodnight, and I want to see your text to know that you are home alright even after you just left my house. Is it that hard to see that I am still as in love with you as the moment I first laid my eyes on your perfect body?

    You were the first guy I ever loved and will ever love. You were the first guy I cried in front of. And it was you I told every little detail of my day. I didn’t care to tell my friends, in fact I didn’t care if I had any friends when I was with you, because you were all I needed and you were the only friend I wanted to confide in. You actually listened when I talked and you knew me inside and out. I can’t stand this life without you by my side.

    I’ll do whatever it takes for you to call me your girl again. I’d climb to the top of Mt. Everest in my bare feet if you would just come back. I want nothing more then for us to love each other. I know we were young but it was real. And with you I was home.

    ….. So text me and let me know that you made it home alright…please?

    it’s never not complicated

    by  • June 19, 2010 • 0 Comments

    …and i didn’t know that we’d somehow become complicated until you got back and it happened again. and the thing is i miss you, i miss the friend you who i talk to every day, about anything, comfortably and now i feel like a stranger, an intruder somehow.

    and the way that i reacted to news last week made me stop and re-examine how i feel, which i didn’t think was anything at all and i’m still pretending it’s nothing.

    it’s a horrible sense of possession, security, consistency that makes me think i want you and i’m trying to shrug it off because i don’t think these are legit feelings for you, but for the idea of you. and still, i have so little to focus on this summer and there you are and i hate myself for even a second of obsession.

    i’m glad i’m getting away for awhile and i hope i’ll have things figured out when i get back. in the meantime can we please return to the friendship we only recently started to lose?

    kleptomaniac.

    by  • June 19, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Why did you have to come into MY place, take away all MY friends, impress everybody I loved, when you didn’t need to?

    you don’t deserve it.

    you are scum.

    I hope you rot away into oblivion.

    And it’s not just all that. It’s the fact that you were FIRED but don’t feel the need to tell your new boss, and that you steal everything you lay your eyes on, but “don’t worry, this job is everything. I would never do it here.”

    yeah right.

    why must I put up with you kleptomania and shit disturbing? is EVERYTHING your business? do you need to be the centre of attention ALL the time?

    my parents told me not to talk to you anymore. it’s not working. they told me to tell you to put stuff back when you steal it. but i can’t.

    and that’s the worst part of all.

    Happy Father’s Day

    by  • June 19, 2010 • 1 Comment

    Today I greeted another man “Happy Father’s Day”. Those were words I never thought I’d ever say or mean again. But today, I realized, he was more of a father to me than you were in the past years.

    I can’t say you were never a good dad, because you were. When I was young and naive, you were the perfect dad and we had the perfect family.

    I wish I could find it in my heart to forgive you. Maybe in time I will. But for now, I guess I’ll just have to settle with wishing someone else “Happy Father’s Day”.