You are super psyched to go take a trip traveling about 2600 miles away from your home, into a different element.
That person tells you how much they’d like it if you came out and saw them and all this shit for their birthday. You agree 100% and you tell them to give you a date so you can take time off work. They don’t reply to you. They read your messages on myspace and they don’t respond. So, you’re sitting here wondering wtf. Why? Why? What the fuck did you do to deserve being ignored?
Now I have heard from you in days? REALLY? Fuck you. I have been there for you more than anyone has in your entire life and I can say that because even when we were fighting and I HATED your fucking existence..I still answered your calls and consoled you.
I am so angry and so hurt. So fucking hurt. If I don’t hear from you in the next two days..we are fucking..we are just…done. I don’t want contact with someone who treats me like that.
You are a fucking piece of shit to me right now. That’s about how much I care. I needed to vent this. You are the only thing I looked forward to all year and you had to go and ruin it for me. I struggle through work every single fucking day and this is what you do to me. I sit there at working making it through for you, telling myself this is for YOU, and not me, and it gets me through.
But you know what? Maybe for once MY life should be about ME and not YOU. I want to cry right now, but I can’t let myself, because that means that I care. And if I don’t cry I know that means I am strong enough to live without you. And it will be a big shock to have me, someone who has been a rock for you, gone. I will disappear. Off the internet. Off everything. I will delete everything you’ve tried to contact me on. I will block private calls, and every number I know you have. Don’t test me, because I know your world would be so much shittier without me in it. It’s been the unspoken rule our entire relationship, friends or otherwise. I have always been the only one who cared. The only one to actually put up with your bullshit thinking you are better than everyone, thinking you are smarter, hotter, and cooler than everyone.
The reality is that you are a scared little girl who can’t make up her own fucking mind. When you get bored with those people, don’t expect me to come back. Don’t expect me to just be there. I have no interest anymore. I feel very hollow right now. I feel very sad. But I deserve to be treated better.