• Hey YOU:

    by  • March 2, 2010 • 1 Comment

    You are a:

    LIAR.
    THIEF.
    DRAMA QUEEN.
    WHACKJOB.
    BITCH.

    Knock it the hell off, would ya???

    Dear Spider in my Office,

    by  • March 2, 2010 • 0 Comments

    I know my boss thinks it’s a little funny that we couldn’t catch you, but I’m not amused. Personally, I’d like you to be squashed like the bug you are (yes, yes – technically you’re an arachnid. WHATEVER).

    So, can we call it a truce? If you promise to stay as far away from me as possible, I promise not to KILL YOU. Here is the line in the sand… cross it if you dare.

    Signed,
    Your not-so-thrilled office mate

    The Plan

    by  • March 2, 2010 • 2 Comments

    Dear World,

    I think that it is about time that we made a change! We will soon be taking over the world, and burning down the government……with zombies. We have decided that the world is over-populated and we have chosen to take it down a notch. We think that you should know because there is nothing that you can do to stop us.

    Say goodbye to your loved ones and begin acquiring the taste for human flesh because soon you will be our faithful minions! Do not try to resist, or hide because we WILL find you!

    BOW DOWN BEFORE OUR POWER!!!

    7 days…

    You’re not just a little nuts…

    by  • March 2, 2010 • 0 Comments

    you are 100% crazy. You think you’re all that and a bag of chips when
    in reality you are CRAZY. You live crazy, you think crazy. You are the
    president of Crazy Town. You created www.iamsocrazy.com.

    I am so sick of having to deal with your crazy, insane thoughts and
    ideas. Just because you thought them all by your lonesome doesn’t mean
    they’re good. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee that they are CRAZY.

    Where is a big BUS when I need it?

    Dear Friends and Family,

    by  • March 2, 2010 • 1 Comment

    If I die of a heart attack at 87 and one of you finds my body, please set the stage to look like I died of auto-erotic asphyxiation. Yes, it won’t be pleasant for you to handle my dead corpse, but it would be so awesome for everybody else to think I had a dark side at 87.