• A Warning

    by  • September 2, 2010 • 2 Comments

    To every man and woman to fall in love with me, I am in no way deserving of your love. You all fall so easily for me, and I love it, and i love you; but you have no idea that i haven’t been a faithful lover since 2007. It’s become an addiction, and I am so sorry. I break it off with you out of nowhere despite how much you love me, and I move on so fast that it’s insulting. I don’t know how to change myself, and I am so sorry. I am the ultimate devil. I love you so much, and i never mean to hurt you so bad. I’m so sorry.

    Stop before you really hurt someone

    by  • September 2, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Uncle D,

    Your drinking habits are an embarrassment. I’m sorry that you are having a hard time dealing with the death of your mother (and my grandmother, mind you), but you disgust me. I’m sorry that you are so insecure that the only thing you can do to calm yourself is to crack open some cold beers and a gallon jug of margaritas.

    I hate seeing my uncle this way. And it is rubbing of on the rest of the cousins. After the funeral we ate lunch and you insisted on ordering more alcohol. You can’t accept who you are, so everyone has to listen to your drunken rants.

    Your sister (my mom) was torn to pieces by her mother’s death. And when she looks to her siblings for support, she gets a bitchy younger sister and a wasted older brother. I’m sending this for her. She will never have the courage to say anything, so I have to.

    Man up and sober up.

    Big Faker

    by  • September 2, 2010 • 0 Comments

    I see you just about every day. Lie with you. Kiss you. Laugh with you. Cuddle with you, and talk about everything and nothing at the same time. You’re pretty much the perfect guy. But I don’t think that you’re MY perfect guy. For some reason I just can’t attach myself to you. I have tried, but I just don’t feel it. I want to more than I can express. Every once in a while I miss you, but not as often as someone in a relationship with someone as wonderful as you should. I wish there was something I could do to fix it.

    Always Has, Always Will Be

    by  • September 2, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Cristal clear, I can still remember the day we met. You captivated me the very moment our eyes crossed paths, shy and reserved, you were the older brother of the friend I’d stopped to say hello to.

    We talked a lot after that day, met up often and became good friends. I could tell you anything, you were the only person that would listen to my lips and my heart, you were ALWAYS there for me and I for you. My best friend, I loved you.

    Time made us strangers but my feelings for you never changed, I wanted to get over you. So we could be friends again, the way we were. Years but the second I saw you again, second I talked to you again it all came back to me.

    We’re now in better contact and as much as it kills me and rips every part of me to shreds that you’re my friend, my best friend but that’s all we will ever be. It hurts a lot less then when you weren’t in my life.

    Promise to never fade from my life … I couldn’t do this without a friend like you.

    I just wish I could make you smile in the way she does…

    H x

    To My Unborn Baby

    by  • September 2, 2010 • 2 Comments

    Dearest little one,

    Even if we have never even met, when I first heard your heartbeat and saw your tiny dancing on screen, I fell in love with you completely. That moment is captured.. and frozen in time. But I am scared. I am scared for what’s to come because I have a condition that might take you away from me before I even get to hold you in my arms.


    I lied.

    by  • September 2, 2010 • 0 Comments

    I lied to you. I told you nothing happened, that I was drunk and had no recollection of that night, that it didn’t mean anything. I lied, I do remember, some things. We had sex, both of us too drunk to make good decisions. We were lonely, so we had sex. We vowed never to tell anyone, and we haven’t. But it still weighs heavily on my conscience. I’m sorry. There is no excuse, but I know telling you will only hurt you and end our friendship. So no, I will never tell you, to save our friendship. I love you, and would never do anything to hurt you intentionally. I never meant for this to happen, and there really aren’t any words to describe how I feel. I love you, so you will never know what happened that night.