• Payback

    by  • April 23, 2010 • 0 Comments

    You wear my clothes without asking.  You disrespect my money and my food and my space.

    I spit in my wine bottle knowing you would later drink it.

    You did.

    Payback.

    You are a shining star

    by  • April 23, 2010 • 0 Comments

    You light up a room when you enter. Your smile causes a wave of smiles in return.  It’s so funny to me that you are so loved by everybody that you meet but you feel unworthy of it.

    On the flip side, you are constantly despairing of your unhappy marriage.  You have been married for over 3 decades and yet you’ve never been satisfied or felt truly loved.  How much longer can you go on with this?  How much longer do you want to?  You keep scheduling the big “talk” that you need to have with him. You keep planning your new life.  You dream of where you’ll go and what you’ll see and who you’ll meet.  But you don’t act.

    How is he supposed to know you’re unhappy unless you tell him?  To his face TELL him that you want something different…or you want out.

    All of us have been watching this person that we LOVE be miserable in a relationship and we have had our hands tied.  We have counseled you and held your hand, begged you to communicate to him and listened to you for too long.

    You NEED to take action.  Soon, your cries will fall on deaf ears.

    Oh, don’t get me wrong, we love you something fierce and always will.  But eventually we’ll stop listening.

    So DO something about it.  Make your life better.  Stop WAITING for someone else to do it for you.  It’s YOUR life.  It’s YOUR decision.  You DESERVE happiness.

    Guilty Pleasures

    by  • April 23, 2010 • 0 Comments

    As he begins to stroke his hands along the edges of my shorts slowly running his fingers up to tease me; he finds how wet I am already just thinking about making love to him. He continues on his quest with his hands while I stroke him with an urgency so great. I want to be on him, I want to feel our bodies as one. I roll over to face him but keep my eyes closed; it feels too good to open them. I find myself preparing to have passionate sex with my husband. As I straddle him and come down onto him merging our bodies into one; I find myself so turned on to feel him inside of me. All of my senses are at an all time high, the feel of him inside of me, the feel of his kisses, the way he touches me. I want to please him; I want to show him how good he feels to me right now. I make love to him with more passion than I can ever remember before. It’s like the fire is back, it’s no longer a small diminishing flame, and it’s burning brighter than it has in a long time. I try to focus on him, how good I’m making him feel by the sounds that he is making and the way his body is responding. There is no greater pleasure than pleasing your lover. It makes me happy knowing that I feel as good to him as he does to me. When all is over and I lay spent in his arms, smiling I open my eyes to look into his; that’s when I’m overcome with the guilt; the guilt of making love to my husband in every physical aspect while making love to “him” in my mind. This is where it will remain; only in my mind.

    love

    by  • April 23, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Steve,

    I love you.

    You know that? Everyday that I breathe I think about you. Lately I’ve been dreaming a lot about you. Its like an everynight thing. Its not fair! I think I’m crazy or something. I mean.. If I still love you after soooo damnn long then I must be crazy!

    We haven’t talked for like 4 months. Its the longest I’ve gone without you…. Its like I’m addicted to your presence. I don’t know why though… You don’t make me feel wanted anymore. You don’t look for me or ask about me.

    Steve I love you. Unfortunately. Its true.even my momma said that it might be true love. I’m tired of this true love shit. Its so painful. N you don’t return it… What the heck? Well… Steve… I think this letter has come to an end. I love you. With every molecule in my body. I’m pathetic I know but know, that I’m always gonna be here for you. Imma always be a friend to you, even if it hurts to know that if we ever have another relationship it’ll be a friendship.

    Steve. I love you!!!

    Love always LMEC091508

    Why do I think about you?

    by  • April 22, 2010 • 1 Comment

    We were really close for a couple of months…not a really significant relationship time-wise, and yet I still think of you everyday.

    People say that someone is in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, and I guess its true…you were in my life for a specific reason…to make me feel much better about myself and to show me that I can be admired…that I can be cared for.

    You made me feel better about myself, but then you were gone…you sunk into oblivion and I didn’t hear from you again.

    I still think about you every day for whatever reason…I can still hear your voice as you are telling me things that don’t matter…as we giggle about stupid things…as I dream about holding you.

    Why are you living in my memory?

    CONFUSION

    by  • April 22, 2010 • 2 Comments

    If I needed you, would you be there?
    If I called, would you talk to me?
    If I came to you, would you find it appalling?
    If I knocked at your door, would you let me in?
    If I wanted you, would you have me?
    If I said no strings attached, would you consider it?
    If I said goodbye, would you be happy?

    When I say I need you, do you need me?
    When I say I want to hear your voice, do you want to call?
    When I say I could be there, do you wish I would be?
    When I say I am here, do you pretend you aren’t home?
    When I say I want you, do you not want me?
    When I say I only need a day, do you think about it?
    When I say I am done, do you sigh with relief?

    Where are you when I need you?
    Where are you when I want you to call me?
    Where are you when I see traveling in my future?
    Where are you when I knock at the door?
    Where are you when I give myself to you?
    Where are you when I want nothing more?
    Where are you when I leave?

    Why do I need you?
    Why do I want to hear you?
    Why do I want to run to you?
    Why do I see myself there?
    Why do I want what I’ve had?
    Why do I not care about my actions?
    Why do I have such a hard time letting go?

    How did I come to need you?
    How did I come to want your sound?
    How did I come to need to be there?
    How did I come to envision myself there?
    How did I come to want you to want me again?
    How did I come to have no morals?
    How did I come to be this person again?