• If Only

    by  • August 21, 2010 • 0 Comments

    You mean so much to me. I do what I do today because of you. You taught me everything I know. Sure, there’s always family, but you… You SHOWED me that anyone can do it. Anyone could stand up and fight for themselves. You made it through the worst. Your brother DIED, he died. And you kept fighting. You fought for what he believed in, what made him. And in doing that, you’ve showed to me that even though the worst may happen, the best may come. I admire you. For everything you’ve done. For the determination and the ambition that you’ve shown the world, that you’ve shown me. I hope that one day, I’ll see you. And one day, I hope that maybe, just maybe, I could tell you… Thank You.

    Daddy

    by  • August 21, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Daddy, why did you leave?
    You left all of us
    for your new family.
    For your “improved and polished” family.
    I hide my feelings for you,
    all the time.
    I don’t want to hurt you,
    because I’m afraid you’ll never come back.
    But now, my worst nightmare came true.
    And you’re gone.
    Now I’m mad. Furious, livid, enraged, pissed.
    And all I want is to hurt you.
    But under all that anger,
    is just a little sad and scared girl.
    Wanting her daddy to come home.
    To come to her birthday instead of going to work.
    To tell her he loves her,
    and to hold her.
    To just be there.
    But I can’t have that.
    You just don’t do that.
    But with your new daughter,
    you will.
    Daddy, why did you leave?
    Was it me?
    Was I never good enough?
    Daddy, I hurt myself for you.
    Daddy, I only want one thing from you,
    just one thing.
    And that’s to hear “I love you”
    and actually mean it.
    But you won’t, I know you won’t ever do that.
    Because daddy, you simply don’t love me.
    And you’re gone.

    To Mum

    by  • August 21, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Dear Mum

    It’s so hard not to feel bitter about all the things you put me through. I don’t hate you strange enough, I don’t love you at all. From all the crap you put me through I’m numb now. You’re just a stranger in a crowd. It broke my heart to have to leave home. I still cry about it at night but I had to, I couldn’t take you anymore. I left everything I ever knew to start a new start. All because of you. I’m stronger now but it only takes some tiny thing that reminds me of the way you screamed at me or hit me or played emotional blackmail to make me weak and break down. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you, it’s that I don’t know what to say to you. I can’t put how i feel in to words. I find it hard to let people in and to trust and I will never forgive you for trying to stop me from seeing my dad. You made his life hell even after he left you, by using me, by telling him he can never see me again unless he gives you money. Is that how much you value your daughter with money? There is more to say but i can’t it hurts too much.

    I guess this is good bye unless you will just say sorry but you can’t even see that you have done something wrong.

    Charlie x

    I’ll Never Let You Go

    by  • August 21, 2010 • 0 Comments

    I love you so much, I hate you.
    And if only you knew how much I hate the way you are.
    But you don’t care about me.
    So I’m sorry for wasting time.
    I love you.
    I hate you.
    But it doesn’t even matter.
    Because we’ll never be together.
    Oh well.
    – Me.

    And You’ll Just Never Know

    by  • August 21, 2010 • 0 Comments

    How much I actually loved you. And how little I trusted you. But I tried! I wanted nothing more than to make it work. You were absolutely wonderful, and it hurts to not see your face everyday. To know you’d rather be off with someone else, than to be by my side. I don’t know if you ever really loved me, or if you loved her too much to care. But I loved you. Nothing will change that.

    to my children

    by  • August 21, 2010 • 0 Comments

    first of all, I love you and I am very proud of you. Each one is special for me, and tough perhaps I don´t show you, you’re the center of my inner life.

    I´m no longer with you, but I´ll always be around you, embracing you and looking after you.
    I regret having to leave you, but my time has come.

    be together, love each other.

    all my love
    mom