• How dare you?

    by  • September 9, 2010 • 0 Comments

    You lowlife SOB…..I put up with your shit for over 20 years.

    And then you decide you want a divorce!

    All well and good……….I’m past the point on not wanting the divorce as well…but you have the gall to want ME TO PAY FOR IT???

    Have you lost your f@#&ing mind?

    You are too damn stingy to come off any money for a settlement, and now you expect me to pay the court costs for the divorce. It just blows my mind to finally realize what everyone has been telling me for years……….You are a true ASSHOLE and SOB.

    Hearing your Heart

    by  • September 9, 2010 • 9 Comments

    You reach out. My heart stumbles. Like a law of nature. After such a long time, and so many miles. No, I have not forgotten you. I have not forgotten your smiles, and laughter, and those lips! Deep and meaningful conversations…nice drives 🙂 You come to mind often. I can hear your voice, still….as last we spoke, over the phone. Soft and melodious. Laughter. Love. Longing.

    So I hear from you today, and I could play strong, and removed, and persuaded to do the right thing.

    Even so, you know me well!

    If you write, I’ll read.

    Be well, beautiful and strong friend.

    You. I Hate you.

    by  • September 9, 2010 • 0 Comments

    I don’t know why I think of you that often. You were a high school sweetheart and though we broke up on and off after that, it was never for incompatible personalities.

    To this day, I feel we never gave it our best shot.

    San Francisco was fun, but you eff’d up. And stop with the “But I’ve been single all these years since we dated…” nonsense.

    Because as of yesterday, you have a guy. And I’m not sure what I hate more: the fact that he’s dating you and that I’m with someone less attractive or the fact that he will NEVER be as good as I was, am, or will be, mainly because I know he isn’t in our faith.

    Your mom cries almost every night, because of the choices you’ve made, and those people you hang out with.

    And it sucks that after almost 8 years, I still can’t get you out of my head, and the fact that I am repulsed by these thoughts. Him dating you, touching the body I never made love to.

    Jealousy or craziness, all I know is that…

    I. I hate you.

    I hate you

    by  • September 9, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Dear J,

    I hate you!

    I hate you for destroying the life that we had together.

    I hate your cheating!

    I hate what it did to me.

    I hate what it did to you.

    I hate what it did to my son.

    I hate that I can no longer trust you!

    I hate you for smashing my heart!

    I hate your face.

    You are the worst person I have ever been in a relationship with. You talk about my ex’s, you talk about yours, but you top them all. I changed my life for you, I gave myself, my trust, and my love and you destroyed that.

    You have more entitlement issues that anyone I have every met. How you can sit there and see me literally cry about money and not being able to buy necessities while ordering a 200 dollar remote control airplane (that you’ve never used) is incredible. I love the way you blamed YOUR cheating on me! I didn’t make you cheat you chose to cheat because you think you’re entitled to have everything and anything that might bring you a moment’s happiness….regardless of cost. This time it cost your relationship.

    I take solace knowing that the real person you are (not the one you pretend to be to strangers and potental girlfriends) no one will ever love. You are selfish beyond belief. Nothing you can buy in life will replace the true geniune love I gave you.

    I hope you’re miserable….. no one deserves it more than you!

    If i could hate you it would be so much easier

    by  • September 9, 2010 • 0 Comments

    I wish I never fell for you. Everyday, I try so hard not to text, call or begin a conversation with you and I tell myself that if you wanted to talk, then you would.

    And everyday, I wish I could hold you just for one second to feel what it’s like and what I can never have. Everyone tells me, you’re moody, ill-tempered, harsh and that you’re leading me on and to be honest, sometimes I can see that.

    But then, there’s the good times we’ve shared, sitting next to you, getting coffee with you. The bad mostly outbalances the good but I can’t just forget the good times as much as I’d like to and I can’t stop loving you. Even a tiny little miniscule thing like half smiling at me would make my day and I can’t forget, any of it. Maybe its just me, but it’s so easy to fall in love these days, I wish i could fall out of love.

    I Wish I Could Be Yours

    by  • September 9, 2010 • 10 Comments


    I wish you were mine. I know it’s a wish that isn’t mine to make, and trust me that I make it every day, but I sincerely wish you were. The timing is all wrong. The situation is less than ideal. Yet, I think I’m falling for you. I fall for you every day. Even a little more today. I hate thinking about it. I hate it when the tears come, when I can feel their warmth on my cheeks, I hate it even more knowing if I but asked you would wipe them away. I hate the way my lip quivers when I think about what maybe we could have. I hate the way my heart feels heavy, the way my lungs stop working, the way my breath catches. Most of all I hate the way my body longs for yours, the ways my arms want to wrap around you, the way my legs can almost feel the pressure of yours, how my fingertips can almost touch you. If I but said the word, I know you’d be mine. I can’t, though, can I? So I’ll continue to love you from a distance, I’ll still fall a little more each day, I’ll flash that smile you love, I’ll pretend that everything is ok. Know, however, that in my heart I want nothing more than to have you. Just you.