• I Messed Up

    by  • August 21, 2010 • 0 Comments

    I fell in love with you five years ago. You said you loved me back four years ago. Five months later I broke up with you. I’ve regretted it for three years. Spending time with you this summer has meant more to me than you know. I know you won’t fall back in love with me, but you need to know that I still love you. I wish I could make you love me again. Until that, you can always call on me when you need a friend.

    DEAR JUSTIN;

    by  • August 21, 2010 • 0 Comments

    SHAKING THE HAND OF THE WOMAN YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD FOR MONTHS ON END WHILE I WAITED PATIENTLY, HAS FINALLY GIVEN ME REASON AND STRENGTH TO HATE YOU.

    I’M FREE TO FIND WHAT I DESERVE.

    For You, Yes, You.

    by  • August 21, 2010 • 0 Comments

    You broke me. Not just heart, but my spirit. Stop telling me that you miss me. You don’t get to miss me. You want to be friends, well I don’t. At least not right now. I need time, to piece myself back together. It hurts that after what you did, that you can look me in the eye. I know if the roles were reversed, I wouldn’t be able to. I hope this is what you wanted.

    Deafening

    by  • August 21, 2010 • 0 Comments

    This feeling,
    Like a thousand circus tents in my heart,
    Isn’t aware that,
    It’s supposed to be fleeting,
    Hastily departing,
    Instead the tent poles dig in deep,
    The fat man grows idle,
    And the elephants all trumpet your name,
    Tirelessly.

    I’m a bit of a freak

    by  • August 21, 2010 • 0 Comments

    I am going to marry you within the next year, and you still don’t know..

    I love being slapped… I feel like it’s what i deserve. I sometimes wish you would yell at me and be so angry you slam your fist into the drywall right next to my head.

    I have fantisized about being raped ever since I was molested five years ago.

    I’m kind of mad at you for fufilling your dream when mine is the same one, but I cannot.

    I love you, but…

    by  • August 21, 2010 • 0 Comments

    I’ve loved you for years now, you know that. You are my first love and no matter how many times we try to separate we can’t. I know that you love me but sometimes you can be so selfish. I care about your day and your interests, I’ve even taken the time to become friends with your friends. When ever I tell you how my day goes you make a joke or say nothing at all as if it isn’t important. When I get excited about things you don’t encourage me, you just simply say “that’s nice.” You have never taken the time to even get to know any of my friends ever. Sometimes when I talk to you I count how many times I have to change the subject to something about you before you’ll really get into the conversation. When I tell my stories about my friends and things that happen to me it is only a rare occasion that you smile or laugh, normally you’ll just start talking about you and your friends. We’ve been through too much in the past three years for it to be wasted on something like this. I just don’t know how to tell you any of this without you being upset. I know you would deny it and we would fight about it. I know you love me because you show me in so many different ways. It’s just this one thing I can not get over.