There has been something about you from the first day you walked into class, four years ago. Whenever our eyes met, something inside me changed. Time went by and finally i thought it was our turn at having a chance to be together. I thought things were going great and i had hoped for great things between us.
you didn’t know what you wanted. you never did and you still don’t. a part of me hopes that you will wake up and choose me. want me. be with me. but the other part of me feels like that will never happen.
am i just waiting for you- hopes high and a belly full of butterflies for nothing? i wish more than anything i could tell you this but i never could.
i promise you one thing, you’ve been a part of my thoughts- one way or another- since that fateful day.
i have so much anger and hate for you but i know deep inside i will always love you because no matter how hard i try i cant seem to look at anyone the way i looked at you. im not saying this will last forever because im only waiting for the man of my dreams to come along so that i can look back at you and laugh at what an idiot i was for ever loving you. i went into it heart and soul all three times and somehow you always had to ruin it, and its funny how you always had a way to manipulate me into thinking i was the one that was wrong. yeah i feel stupid in the end for everything i gave up for your dumb ass but hey at least i learned my lesson right? u still haunt me in my dreams and even though your now half way across the world i still see your face everywhere. sometimes i wonder if i am just stupid for falling for you not once, not twice, but three times. THIRD TIME WAS NOT THE CHARM. i get satisfaction out of knowing your miserable tho.
but yeah i do love you.
I fell in love with you five years ago. You said you loved me back four years ago. Five months later I broke up with you. I’ve regretted it for three years. Spending time with you this summer has meant more to me than you know. I know you won’t fall back in love with me, but you need to know that I still love you. I wish I could make you love me again. Until that, you can always call on me when you need a friend.
SHAKING THE HAND OF THE WOMAN YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD FOR MONTHS ON END WHILE I WAITED PATIENTLY, HAS FINALLY GIVEN ME REASON AND STRENGTH TO HATE YOU.
I’M FREE TO FIND WHAT I DESERVE.
You broke me. Not just heart, but my spirit. Stop telling me that you miss me. You don’t get to miss me. You want to be friends, well I don’t. At least not right now. I need time, to piece myself back together. It hurts that after what you did, that you can look me in the eye. I know if the roles were reversed, I wouldn’t be able to. I hope this is what you wanted.
Like a thousand circus tents in my heart,
Isn’t aware that,
It’s supposed to be fleeting,
Instead the tent poles dig in deep,
The fat man grows idle,
And the elephants all trumpet your name,