• I would

    by  • September 15, 2010 • 0 Comments

    I would treat you better.

    You would be my queen. Not my God – but close enough.

    I would. I honestly, truly, sincerely-no-lie would.

    If you’d just let me.

    I love you

    by  • September 15, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Jeanne,

    Sweetheart, it’s been three days since you decided to leave me.

    Honey, you weren’t just my girlfriend, you were my best friend.

    As I go throughout my day, I wonder to myself, where have you gone? Why are you no longer a part of my life? Why did you leave me? I didn’t even get to say goodbye.

    I feel like a puppy who has just lost his best friend, clawing at the dirt where his best friend is buried, knowing she is down there but won’t respond.

    Not only were you my girlfriend and best friend, but you were in all my dreams. I dreamt of spending my life with you and sharing our love through children. I wanted that brick house in the mountains in Virginia. When you decided to leave, you took with you my dreams and my heart. I haven’t felt the same since you left. I feel empty and void. I feel that I’ve lost much of my purpose to live and now struggle to find new purpose. I will always cherish our trip to Niagara Falls and the time I spent with you in Virginia. So many wonderful memories.

    But most of all, I will remember the warmth and comfort I felt around you. I will remember watching you next to me as you slept so peacefully. I will remember the feeling of your head on my chest with my arms around you, knowing that you were mine and I was yours. Honey, even though I doubted because of the distance, I now know that I loved you the entire time. I would have given anything for you, and now, I must do my last act of my love for you and honor your wishes to leave.

    Maybe someday our paths will again cross, maybe someday we will again be together, but for now, I must honor you and love you through letting you find your own path. I love you enough to let you go free and I hope that you will grow your wings and fly Sweetheart. I will be silently watching you from a distance, marveling at every step you make on your path. I will always be proud of you my Love.

    I miss you, and I love you.

    S

    by  • September 15, 2010 • 0 Comments

    You confuse the hell out of me.

    One day I’m everything you’ve ever wanted and the next day I mean nothing to you. I wish we lived a whole lot closer but I think we could honestly make something work. I wish you let people get to know the real you like I was able to. It’s a whole lot better then who you make yourself out to be. I want you to tell me how you really feel and what’s going on right now.

    I’m so confused and stressed and I just don’t know what to do right now about you….

    Grow Up.

    by  • September 15, 2010 • 0 Comments

    I honestly don’t know what to think about you anymore.

    I know that 90% of the fault goes to you for the death of our friendship and 100% of it is yours as to why I cannot stand you any longer, along with quite a few others who once your friends.

    Truth be told, I tried my hardest not to hate you once I ended our friendship. But your unhealthy obsession with me is what tipped the balance. Not only did you come after me with hateful remarks, I could have cared less about those. It’s when you went after those nearest and dear to me, first my best friend, then my boyfriend, and then to all to Facebook (that was a very mature move, by the way.) You crossed the line by ten miles when you told my boyfriend to go die in Iraq. You never tell any soldier to go die in a war when they’re fighting for your right to speak your lack of a mind. You don’t tell anyone to die, in general.

    Your physical ugliness will never match your disgusting inner workings. You are, by far, the craziest person I have ever met; you take codependency to a whole new level. Not only did you want me as a lover, but you wanted to BE me. You dressed like me, you took my words, phrases, ideas, and opinions directly from me, you dyed your hair like mine and even wore it like mine. You wanted me and you wanted to be me.

    That wasn’t the only thing I couldn’t stand; your extreme neediness and jealousy is what drove me away. You wanted me to dedicate every second of every minute of every day to you. You wanted me to consider you the most important thing in my life as I had before. But I couldn’t. So you got jealous. Of everyone I was with. You were especially jealous of me and my boyfriend. This is probably because you subconsciously realize how terrible yours was, so what did you do? You lashed out at me when I spent time with my boyfriend, or anyone else.

    It doesn’t matter how terrible of a situation someone is going through, no matter how much worse, you can’t seem to muster up even an ounce of sympathy for them. Your life has to be the worst. Your life has to have the worst and most problems. Your life is not bad, stop lying to yourself. If your life was truly as bad as you make it seem, then all the little things that made you start fights wouldn’t have bothered you nearly as much or you would have done as many people do and just let it go.

    (more…)

    Dear KB

    by  • September 15, 2010 • 0 Comments

    I’ll never forget the pain you put me through, and I’ll never forget the fact that I did the same.

    But regardless of all that has happened, one thing I know for sure in my heart and always will…is the fact that I would give up my life to spend one more month with you. I will never find anyone I love as much as you, and I know you will.

    Every night is a struggle without you, but I hope you find your happiness.

    nine p el oh

    by  • September 15, 2010 • 0 Comments

    The day I met you was the best day of my life.

    The first kiss we shared was the best day of my life. The day you asked me to be your girlfriend was the best day of my life. You will always be my one true someone. And I really believe everything we always said would happen still will. I love you. I’ll always love you. Even when we have problems, we over come them because we love each other.

    What I really want to say is thank you. Thank you for caring. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for being the best guy ever. Thank you for putting up with me when I know its hard. You’re perfect for me. Every time I’m not with you i miss you so much even when I was like you two minutes before. I love how i lost my virginity to you because I wouldn’t want to lose it to anyone else. i love you so much. I love kissing you. I love your smile.

    I am so in love with you. I just want you to know that. If I tell you otherwise, I’m lying. I love you j. More than you could ever know. You’re really special to me. I think I have said love so many times in this letter but that’s just because it applies to us and I actually mean it when i say it.

    When people say “oh yeah you know body really last through high school” I don’t listen because I know we will. I know we will get married one day and have kids and I know we will grow old together.

    J, I don’t mean it when I say I want to die. Its just so hard because I feel like I don’t belong. I’m trying so hard to be happy. Im doing it for you. I love you so much. And im sorry for ever hurting you. I blame myself and I thank you for forgiving me when i havent even forgiven myself yet. I wont ever leave you. I want to be with you forever. And i mean that.

    Please be mine forever.