• Love. How cliche.

    by  • August 12, 2010 • 0 Comments

    JAK,

    I think I might love you but I can’t tell you because you have a girlfriend and I refuse to be responsible for breaking anyone up. Or maybe I’m juust afraid that it won’t break you up because you don’t actually like me. Sure, you think I’m hot and all the physical stuff is great, but do you LIKE me?

    I don’t even know why I care so much. Really, I shouldn’t want you because you’re a cheater but logic has failed and all I want is you. Hopefully that will change because i don’t think that we’ll ever work due to your girlfriend, our families, and just my luck in general but it would be nice, don’t you think? If we had the chance, I’d at least want to try. We could end up being great together. I want us to end up being great together. But that will never happen so I guess it’s time for me to give up and move on…

    That will never happen either.

    Love (I think)
    SP

    i found what you could never see

    by  • August 12, 2010 • 0 Comments

    after the death of my first love you convinced me that you loved me and wanted to be with me to take care of me. instead you cheated on me with 17 different girls over a 3 year period.

    you tell people we just didn’t work out. in reality it’s because you’re a self obsessed asshole who wanted to have sex with me but knew i would only sleep with someone i was dating.

    it took years to realize my value. you should know, you lost so much the day you started deceiving me.

    i hate you geoff.

    my ex

    by  • August 12, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Dear D,

    I hate you, you are a horrible person. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to date you for so long. You are going nowhere in life, no get rich fast scheme will work. It is really sad that you are almost 21, live at home in your mom’s basement, drive her car because you don’t have a car of your own, dropped out of college, have no job, and still get allowance. You blame your problems on other people, and take no responsibility for the things that you do. You think I am jealous because you have a girlfriend and I am single, which is so opposite of what’s really going on. I feel bad for her, I want to tell her to get out before it’s too late, poor girl. Your ex tried to warn me and I wish I would have listened. I am so happy that I am single.

    I regret that I wasted my freshman year in college dating your sorry ass. Staying home every night, not making new friends, I can’t believe I was so blinded. The one good thing I did freshman year was join my sorority, my sisters told me everyday to dump you and I should have listened. You were single for 2 weeks, enough time to get your new girlfriend. I have been single for a year and I have never been happier.

    I know of every person you cheated on me with because your friends like me more and let me know what was up. I cheated on you also, my friends keep secrets, I guess that’s what sisters are for. Last March through May I had a nice little fling with a guy I met during spring break not including a dj at a club down there, in August it was with a guy I worked with, and in September it was a frat boy, which was kind of funny after we hooked up he said don’t you have a boyfriend, I nodded and laughed and we hooked up again.

    At least now you know the truth. This spring break you creeped out the guy I was seeing when you were staring at us dancing and hanging out by the pool. He wanted to fight you in the club, he did too much coke that night so I told him no. You’re lucky, unlike you he actually works out.

    I can’t wait for the day you and your girlfriend break up because I know you will try and sleep with me. Thinking I’m not getting any, or that I will be thrilled that you’re interested again. Please spare me I will never sleep with you again. I have had way better sex after you, with bigger penises that were actually circumcised and didn’t look like shar-peis. Your penis also curves to the side it is creepy. You also sweat too much in the bedroom, it is gross when you get on top and your sweat drips on me. You smoke too much weed, I don’t appreciate you texting my sister trying to get some when at the time she got hers from me, you play too many video games, hopefully one day you will realize there is more to life than zombies on call of duty. You are a tool that wears affliction that your mommy buys you, you only listen to little wayne, and you think because you play the drums you will get laid for life. It really is sad.

    I can not wait until the high school reunion, I would have just finished my masters degree, what will you have done? Nothing. You are not even a man since you hit girls. You should be ashamed of yourself, putting your hands on females like that. I’m going to go enjoy my junior year at the university you applied at and didn’t get accepted because your test scores and grades were too low, too bad. Spend another semester in community college and drop all of your classes again because you want to stay up all night playing zombies and sleep all day. Hopefully you learned that it’s not your girl friends fault that you make bad decisions. She can be in a relationship and still go to class, why can’t you?

    Love, M.

    I’m sorry I’m the sorry one.

    by  • August 11, 2010 • 1 Comment

    Dear J,

    I am sorry that I was crazy. I am sorry that I can’t stop being crazy and I’m sorry that I can’t stop being sorry. I loved you. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to. That day in the parking lot when you told me you thought you loved me, I was so surprised I didn’t know what to do so I just kissed you. I figured it was probably better to do than just saying “oh,” or “thanks.” That’s what made me love you. Your vulnerability on that day. You were everything I wanted in a man and you showed me your heart and I couldn’t not love you. I knew I shouldn’t have loved you. I knew that we would only end up hurt. But love is blind and even as we talked that last night before you left I believed every word you said. I believed you would buy me a ring. But you left the next morning without a goodbye. Such is our tragic love story. Tragic for me at least. You hurt me. When I was traveling I would wait until my roommate would fall asleep and then I’d cry until I did. You broke me.

    I won’t blame you for the way I am now, or the way I have been since because it’s my own crazy and my own fears keeping me back. But because of the ordeal that was “us” I couldn’t let myself commit to David. I could have loved David, eventually. He and I were so good together. He was good for me. But my own reluctance to truly commit and his mirrored actions doomed us from the start.

    I pretended to accidentally text you the other day because I need to let go of the pain you caused me to be able to move on and truly move on. Part of me just wanted to make sure you still had the same number. I am kicking myself for saying nothing but sorry. I know you have moved on with your life and I’m sure you can assume that I have. I wish we could just be friends. I wish if I saw you on the street I could say, “hi, how are you?” If I saw you on the street today I would probably hide.

    I’m glad you’re happy. I hope I’ll get there eventually. I am happy, but you’re not lonely like me.

    I’m sorry,
    C.

    It’s 2:40am and you’re all I can think about

    by  • August 11, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Dear david

    So here I am, wide wake. I tried sleeping but my mind is racing, and of course they are thoughts of you. Never before in my life have I dated someone younger than I. So when I started to realize I may be in love with you I was freaked out beyond belief. I can’t stand guys my own age how the hell am I gonna deal with someone younger. I was like ‘nope I can’t do it,’ so I told myself I didn’t like you knowing that you don’t wanna be in a relationship, what I wanna know is why not. I finally got over my first love -well for the most part. You are the only person in a while that has been able to make me feel like this again. For so long I tried to find someone that made me happy, like, really truly happy. And I couldn’t find one person until we started hangin out more. At first I didn’t even realize I was attracted to you, then a month or so later I looked at you and knew. To me, your perfect. I can just go crazy with you, not as in crazy partyin -which i’m sure we’ll do- but I can just let go. With everyone else I have this huge wall up so no one can hurt me. But you, you are amazing. This is all so fast for me because I haven’t known you for more than 3 months so I don’t know how or why I like you so much, so much to the point of fallin in love with you. I hope you decide to be with me, I won’t wait forever.

    I love you

    love, A

    Saying good bye

    by  • August 11, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Dear first love,

    The other day when I told you that I can’t miss you and don’t miss you, I lied. Its probably one of the many lies I’ve told you among the biggest being, not telling you that I’ve loved you for song long. I’ve never told you but I’ve lived you since the sixth grade and I haven’t stopped.

    You told me once that young love was foolish, that we weren’t old enough to know what we wanted in a person enough to fully mean the words I love you. I agreed, but I was a hypocrite to do so because I’ve loved you all along. I’ve loved you so much it hurt and surprised me. I loved you with a love that was so deep and unconditional, I grew ashamed of it. I wanted to bury it, smother it, kill it but no matter how hard I tried it shone out. But you never saw it and killed me each day to know you would never know.

    It was easy to lie to myself in the beginning, that I would get over you. You’d be like any other regular crush. It was so easy to lie, pretending that I wasn’t falling more and more in love with you each day. It was so automatic loving you like I didn’t even have to try.

    After a while, I found myself becoming a masochist. While loving you hurt – a lot- I found it just nice to be around you, listening to you talk, hearing your ideas and views on the world. I was willing to walk in your shadow, and relish in the fact that I was close to you.

    Over the years we got closer, and I begun to love the fact that you wanted me to be around and you called when you needed me. I was finally being put in that spot that I always wanted to be in. God, I loved it so much. I was just thinking the whole time, ‘You saved the best for last’. And I felt so reassured when you’d pull me in close to you, hold me for a while, and kiss me on the forehead. It felt so right and so normal, it just made me so fucking happy I really could have died right then. But it was so late, and before we knew it we were both graduating.

    On the day of graduation you wrote me a letter and you said you only wanted to look forward and not remember the past. In the end you said you prayed to God that I would find the man I always wanted because I deserved a good one. That was really the straw that broke the camel’s back. It just felt as if all my love has been wasted. And that’s really killing me. So my first love, I think it’s time to say goodbye.

    Me loving you has been good for me I think though. Its taught me to be patient, and optimistic even when the outcome isn’t good. It’s better to have loved and lost than never loved at all, right? I wish you all the happiness in the world and then some. Because you really deserve it. And above all, I’m really sorry and I’ll always be sorry for never telling you.

    I’ll never forget you, I love you

    B.