I don’t know the words I want to say to you; these are only some of them and I don’t even know if they make sense. I’ve liked you, wanted you, desired you, for so long and now it seems that it’s actually going to happen. It’s insane to think that we’ve been thinking -dreaming, fantasizing- the exact same things and never doing anything about them. And you know the crazy thing…if you were anyone else, I’d let the desire go to my head and I would have trouble paying attention. I think you’re sexy as hell, but I also respect you. Even if we end up not working out…you’re worth the wait.
I hate this, I have never missed someone more in my lifetime. I’ve dealt with death, and divorce. But there has never been anything close to the way you make me feel. You make me smile all the time. Even if we’re just sitting there doing absolutely nothing.
You’ve made this summer the best. Even better than what I wanted. I hate that I had to move away. Believe me. I tried. Every night when you’d be sound asleep cuddling me all I could think about is how much you meant, and how much I’d miss it once I left and you went off to College.
I hope that whatever happens in the future that you’re as happy as you make me. I hope you find someone that you can be yourself with and share your favorite memories with. That you can lay in bed with for hours and just enjoy being with them. I hope you get those stupid butterflies every time you’re about to see them. And that you do EVERYTHING in your power to make them happy.
Never forget what we had,
I miss you terribly. Every time we hangout before I moved, I always thought to myself “Enjoy this, You’re not going to be able to have moments like these much longer. He’ll change, You’ll change.”
Basically what I want you to know is you’ve changed my life. You’ve made my summer even better than I could’ve possibly imagined. I hate that I fell for you so fast and it’s all ripped to shreads now. I miss everything about you. Your smile, the looks you give me when you don’t get your way, the way you love to hug me when you’re out of it, Just you.
You’re an amazing person. I love you.
You’ll always have a special place in my heart.
i believe it was fateful that when we met we did not speak! both of us buried in a blanket of timidity toward the other. Though the time we’ve spent together is meager, you have brought out and seen my favorite side of myself and encouraged the love that i give, and allow myself to receive. I face everything looking toward you! God knows how the wind will blow us in the future, yet my fondest and very romanticized hope is that a relation like no other will flourish between us. you have inspired me in ways you (probably could imagine; you are brimming with imagination :).) I thank you for that, what you have given me will not fade like the distant memories. I will keep writing, you are in my dreams!
I need a break. A lot of these letters are directed at past or present lovers, but this one goes out to my Mom. Mom, give me a break. I’m doing the best that I can. I just graduated less than 3 months ago. It’s not my fault that no one is hiring. Newspapers are a dying breed, people with jobs are having a hard enough time keeping them, no one’s looking for a wide eyed and green young girl like me. It’s not like I’m not trying. I send my resumes off every week but no one is calling. Sure, there are jobs out there, but 100 people are applying for one position and most of them probably have more experience than me. I don’t know what more you want from me.
Trust me, if I got a job offer today I would take it and move out as soon as I could. It’s like living in a prison here. I get yelled at every day for being too loud while your precious new husband sleeps all day. I’ve been reduced to walking back and forth from the bathroom instead of venturing anywhere else in the house, and even that is too much for his super sonic ears. Do you think I’m trying to be loud on purpose? Do you think I want our only conversations to be about how loud I am or how I don’t have a job? Why don’t you ask me about my day? Or my friends? Or my new boyfriend? Please, I’ll take anything that doesn’t involve the words “get a job” or “be quiet.”
Our relationship deteriorates more every day. Do you want me to be one of those daughters who only calls on your birthday? Because the more you push me the further you push me away. I need support, not badgering. Unless pushing me away is what you want. Then you and your husband can spend the rest of your days together perfecting your passive aggressiveness. But if not, then please, PLEASE, get off my back. Otherwise I promise me moving out will be the last you’ll hear of me.
i don’t have a clue how to stop loving you. even though i haven’t talked to you in months and you have found a new love, i don’t know how to stop feeling the way i do. it doesn’t make me sad to think about you with her. it doesn’t really affect me at all, but i know that if you were ever to want me back, if you ever loved me again, i would drop everything and everything to be with you again. you know me. you bring out the best in me. i was more myself with you than i have ever felt in my entire life. i always promised myself that i would never be one of those stupid girls to fall in love and let down all her defences, i never thought i would be that dumb girl to truly believe that this stupid teenage relationship would never end. But i did. I would still marry you if i could, and if you wanted to marry me. you made feeling that strong towards you effortless. I would of thrown those thoughts away if i knew they would never happen. but i could’t stop myself, i didn’t even realize i felt that way until i had already started thinking that way. i love you, i always will. i’m weak. and stupid. and i know that no matter who i meet or how much time passes, if you said you loved me and needed me, i would be there. i guess that makes me kinda pathetic. but your love would be worth every ounce it. i need you. i want you. come back to me. i love you.