• It’s Getting Harder To Say “No”

    by  • September 10, 2010 • 1 Comment

    Baby, I have never been happier than I am with you.

    I know you’re the one and I know you feel the same. Our relationship is effortless and we fit into each other’s lives so perfectly. I haven’t felt this strongly about anyone, ever.

    When we’re together, you have this overwhelming hold on me and I love it. I know I told you I was saving myself for marriage, and I have always stuck to my guns about that, but lately it’s been harder and harder to not go that far.

    I want it so bad but I don’t want to tell you. I know you’d refuse it if I asked because you know I’d hate myself forever, but I don’t want you to see me as weak and someone who just gives up on their morals. How much longer can I handle this?

    Obviously we won’t get married just because we want to have sex with each other, but frickin’ a, that day could not come fast enough.

    I’m sorry

    by  • September 10, 2010 • 1 Comment

    I was the one who ate all of your leftover tortellini veggie pasta supreme, not Bobby.

    Forgive me.

    It was so delicious.

    So you told me you loved me

    by  • September 10, 2010 • 0 Comments

    I’ve always been the friend to listen, give advice on relationships, and I’m always there to be a shoulder to cry on.

    It’s because I don’t like to see others in pain.

    I even go to the extent where I will listen to my ex lovers about how much they miss me, even though they tore my heart to shreds.

    I hear lots of guys tell me they love me, but I’m already in a relationship. In fact, I just had a son and I’m happy- I think.

    I wish I could be with you, because I know that would make you happy. You’re a great guy, smart, lots of money, funny and you would give me the world if I asked you to. But you don’t want me, not really. You just want to feel loved and you think I could be your everything.

    And I want so desperately to be.

    I’m sorry I can’t be with you, please know I wish I could be, and I love you too.

    You’re my dream guy, and you don’t even know it.

    by  • September 10, 2010 • 0 Comments

    You’re artistic, musically-gifted, smart, gorgeous, modest, and shy.

    I sit beside you in class and for help when possible. Never before have I resented my inability to connect with guys as much as I do currently.

    I’m infatuated. How could I not be when my perfect guy sits beside me, and I have no idea what to say?

    I’m going to fail physics this year, I just know it.

    To My Best Friend

    by  • September 10, 2010 • 0 Comments

    To hear another boy confide to me
    With brown eyes wide and sincere
    How hard he fought to keep you
    How content he is to have you –
    Success where I once failed-
    Has become a chore at this point
    Honestly.

    I hate you

    by  • September 10, 2010 • 0 Comments

    Sometimes I don’t know what happened to us.

    It spiraled out of control and for awhile I lost who I was, I became a piece of you and forgot about my own happiness.

    I tried for four years to make you happy but for some reason I was never good enough.

    I’m not claiming to be perfect but I never deserved to be treated the way you treated me. I loved you more than I loved myself and that was probably the problem.

    You are a sociopath, an inconsiderate person that never cared about breaking my heart, and now my heart can’t break anymore because the pieces are splattered on the walls, doing nothing but slowly sinking into the carpet and staining my existence.

    You married another fucking woman, for Christ’s sake, and came to visit me when you had a god damn girlfriend.

    Why I put up with it, I don’t know..

    I believed your lies, your stupid beautiful drunken lies and now I hate you. I fucking hate you. The more I think about it I don’t care to ever see your fucking face ever again. Your mustache looks stupid by the way, shave it off you look like a pedophile. I’m glad last night happened, I hated the way you touched me, I hate your kisses, I hated being with you. I just want my bra back. I hate myself for ruining a relationship over you, for becoming an alcoholic, I hate myself for loving you and love myself for hating you.

    I can’t even write anymore, I can’t even breathe I’m so fucking pissed now.

    I’m done thinking about you, and I hope you know you lost the last person that actually gave a damn if you live or die.

    Peace, fucker.