Losing you was like losing a limb. The wound heals, the pain lessens, life goes on, but I’ll always know that something is missing. I’ll forever feel that phantom sensation, that burning deep inside, that longing for what once was and never will be again.
Soo, I can honestly say that I’m over you. Someone worth my time has taken your space and I’m happy for that happening. You only made my life a living Hell and now that you are finally gone I am free. I fell really hard for you but as it seems I have fallen once again, but for him. Bryan is a great person. Seriously, if I had a chance to introduce you two I would because both of you guys have great qualities… I once thought that you’d be the only one I’d love but slowly I realized I was in love once more. He’s really great although on the outside he has his rough edges.
But, yeahh, even though you did have your positive qualities in my life I must say you were the person that hurt me the absolute most. It’s okay though, I’ve forgiven you for that bullshit…
The reason for this letter is to inform you, even though you won’t read this, that I am over your ass. You were just an immature high school sweetheart and I’ve found myself a man that’s actually worth loving. I really hope you can’t hurt me any more and I really hope that this is the last letter I write about you. I look towards the future and not hope to have you there, I look towards the future hoping that I’ll be happy alone, because I know that I was born alone, I was raised alone, so I must stand alone.
Loved you once,
From the moment I gazed into your eyes the first time, I knew there was something special about you. I spent weeks, months, years searching for what intrigued me so. Throughout that period of time, I came to know you, your imperfections, your quirks, your laugh, your smile, you. I fell in love with you, I never told you because I was always too shy and afraid of rejection. You’d always be with somebody else nothing like me which compounded my fear, causing my love to expose its fragility. I never thought you knew that I felt this way, and I hid in this shelter of ignorance. I tried to stop talking to you, associating with you and looking into the very same gaze that catalyzed this journey. It never worked. It has been some time now, and we are no longer near each other. All that remains is the idea that we could have had each other to ourselves with the world as our background. It pains me every time I think of you now, but that one thing in life that I always felt living for was that shred of hope and wonder at what it could have been. I do love you, but in this world it does not matter anymore, so I go to sleep with the thought that we’ll see each other in another life and am happy.
Why can’t you see that knowing you’re so far away and hurting pains me? I try to be positive but sometimes it is just too much. Sometimes I just wish you would end it. It seems like things would be easier that way. But then when I think of you with another girl, I want to cry all the tears physically possible. I want to scream in frustration when I’m with you and scream with anger when I’m not.
I never wanted to be that jealous person, but look at what I’ve become. How can you stand it? I know…because you are that amazing of a guy. I admire so many things about you.
I know you’re confused, I know you’re hurting, I know the distance is slowing crushing our relationship, but I want you to know that in my heart you will always find a place. You are young and the whole world is in your hands. You are trying to see into a future that is fogged and impossible to see. Just slow down- take a deep breath. Say a prayer. Things will work out for the better, they always do.
I miss you mom, why’d you have to leave me. You left me in this cold world so alone. I need you back with me. You don’t know how much I need you right now.