In a matter of a few months, you have truly became one of my best friends. I have completely spilled my heart to you and you have done the same. I like you a lot M. I am falling with, yet again, another best friend. You would think that this would be easy for me to admit to you, but it really isn’t.
One, you live five hours away now because of school. I have always tried avoiding long distance. Those are the hardest relationships. If we did date, we would rarely see each other, and that would cause a strain on the relationship.
Two, you are indeed bi-sexual. You openly admitted to me that you have done sexual things with the same sex. You want to try a real relationship with the same sex. I truly support you with that, but that makes me wonder if you have anything for me.
Three, my best friend is in love with you and my close friend dated you. I would be risking a lot if I dated you. I watched both of them crumble because of you. I don’t know if I can be on that list too.
Four, I might just like you for the attention you have given me. Since the moment you and I became friends, we constantly flirted with each other. Even in front of your girlfriend (at the time.) If I tell you, will that stop? Will you stop being yourself because you know how I feel?
But looking at all these issues, I am more scared that you will not return the feelings and I am left looking like an idiot once again. I really don’t know if I can handle that again. I lost my other best guy friend because I fell in love with him and he never saw me the same way. I can’t lose you like I lost him. You are more important to me than he will ever be.
I think you already know how I feel about you but you want me to admit it when I am ready. But what do I do if you tell me that you want to be just friends? My heart can’t take another rejection. I am so scared that I don’t even know if I am even going to bother admitting how I feel. It will completely change this friendship forever. We will never be how we are right now, and I don’t know if that is a good or a bad thing yet.
This is so difficult and I really don’t know what to do or feel anymore. I just want to be happy and make you happy.
I pray this isn’t another mistake when I get the courage to admit my feelings. I really hope you feel the same way!