• Acceptance

    by  • July 8, 2018 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 0 Comments

    I accept that you don’t feel the same.
    I accept that.
    It hurts.
    But I’ll be okay.

    Why does it hurt?
    It hurts that I thought I meant something.
    It hurts to find out that I don’t.
    It hurts to feel played.

    But I did it to myself.
    I did it by believing in you.
    Just because I love you doesn’t mean that you care for me.
    I guess that’s a hard lesson in love.

    Anyway I may seem cold to you from this point forward.
    It’s nothing personal or anything.
    It’s just how I move on.

    In order for me to get over someone, I have to focus on all their negative traits. I have to make myself afraid of them or angry with them. I just need to convince myself that I am better off without them. I have tried doing this before with you, but I have never gotten very far. I am attempting it again.

    I will tell myself that you are a player. I will remind myself of how reckless you have been in the past with my thoughts and feelings. I will focus on the fact that you avoid me and never want to be around me alone. I will ignore what you bring to my life. Any kind gesture you make will be appreciated, but never returned. I will stop going out of my way to be considerate of you or do anything for you. Any teasing comment you make, I will focus on and convince myself that you meant what you said, instead of convincing myself that you are just teasing. I have to do all of these things in order to warp my perception of you. I need to be angry at you. I need to let go. This is what it will take. It works. It has worked everytime I have done it in the past, but for some reason, it hasn’t worked with you yet.

    Oh well. If at first you don’t succeed, try try again.

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