I accept that you don’t feel the same.
I accept that.
But I’ll be okay.
Why does it hurt?
It hurts that I thought I meant something.
It hurts to find out that I don’t.
It hurts to feel played.
But I did it to myself.
I did it by believing in you.
Just because I love you doesn’t mean that you care for me.
I guess that’s a hard lesson in love.
Anyway I may seem cold to you from this point forward.
It’s nothing personal or anything.
It’s just how I move on.
In order for me to get over someone, I have to focus on all their negative traits. I have to make myself afraid of them or angry with them. I just need to convince myself that I am better off without them. I have tried doing this before with you, but I have never gotten very far. I am attempting it again.
I will tell myself that you are a player. I will remind myself of how reckless you have been in the past with my thoughts and feelings. I will focus on the fact that you avoid me and never want to be around me alone. I will ignore what you bring to my life. Any kind gesture you make will be appreciated, but never returned. I will stop going out of my way to be considerate of you or do anything for you. Any teasing comment you make, I will focus on and convince myself that you meant what you said, instead of convincing myself that you are just teasing. I have to do all of these things in order to warp my perception of you. I need to be angry at you. I need to let go. This is what it will take. It works. It has worked everytime I have done it in the past, but for some reason, it hasn’t worked with you yet.
Oh well. If at first you don’t succeed, try try again.