• Last letter. I refuse to communicate this way anymore.

    by  • July 3, 2018 • * Safe for Work *, Depression • 0 Comments

    This is for the E that is not on here anymore. I finally told my mom about us. I told her that you chose another woman over me and that it’s super hard for me. I was angry that u wouldn’t come up and even acknowledge me in person. You wouldn’t ask me out ever yet u declare your love on here.

    I was so angry that I went with a couple of different times with other guy friends which I knew about. I was secretly hoping u would fight for me but u didn’t.

    So it’s no longer a secret with my family what happened with us. I just wish I could have been the one that you talked to and that you asked to be your girlfriend. Apparently I wasn’t what you were looking for cause you didn’t move heaven and earth to be with me, which a guy friend said if a guy doesn’t do that then he really isn’t in to you. So apparently you don’t feel the chemistry that I feel whenever we do happen to be near each other.

    I’m choosing to believe my friend Andrew that if you really wanted me you would come up to me and acknowledge that I actually exist.

    I’m done communicating this way and I’m not coming back here. If you want to say something to me then say it in person. Then I will believe that you have loved me for 17 years.

    I passed by you walking on the road and then I saw a rainbow which is a promise from God. Time is quickly passing by. I won’t wait forever but clearly you haven’t either and found someone so I guess that’s my answer.

    You have obviously moved on. I have not. But it doesn’t even matter anymore to write this cause neither of us are coming back here.

    I just wanted to let you know if you dare to come back and search for me you will know the reason why I’m not on here anymore.

    I’m happy you found somebody. I’m going to live through this hell of never having you, but maybe someone someday will help me forget you or at least dull the pain I feel everyday of never being able to have you cause you don’t want me the same way.

    I will never say the L word on here again because you need to hear it from my lips as much as I need to hear it directly from yours. Although I’m beginning to think you never really loved me at all because you never moved mountains that I could see and understand that would tell me otherwise. You just stared.

    I’m hoping to run into you and your woman at the fair. I can see you one last time and drink you in with my eyes before I move. That’s the selfish me talking but I guess I just want closure and to talk things out even if it means goodbye.

    Time was never on our side and I’m beginning to think that you never even cared for me at all or ever. That’s the only truth I know now.

    Ashley

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