What is this? I loved you the second I saw you. Your eyes looked straight into mine and I felt a flash of electric fire. You woke me up. Now I can never sleep again. Twisting and turning, the projections of who I desired you to be mingled with who you really were. Two lives danced within my frame. Who do I want to be. Do I want to be the me I am with you? Do I want to be the me I am with him? Who lives here when I am alone? Who are you when you’re alone? These questions keep me frozen solid in my tracks. Why can’t I make mistakes? Did I lose my keys to freedom? Freedom to make mistakes? If I walk with you will I lose my way? Who are you anyway?
I dance so closely to the life I want to live. Flirt so softly with the love I want to give. Will you hold my soul in yours? If I knew you better then I’d know. You are so far out of my reach I don’t know if I’ll ever really know. So I sit with my questions. All my unanswerable questions. And love this phantom lover from this quiet place. Looking into the dark pool of my heart, asking it to tell me where my next footholds are.