• just step off

    by  • June 3, 2018 • * Safe for Work *, Frustration • 0 Comments

    mom, dad:
    seriously Im back at home bc i can’t take care of myself right now, so while I’m grateful for a place to stay while I try to piece my life back together, its just beyond me to care for ur ‘farm’, watering the Massive garden on an exact schedule(7pm-9pm), caring for ur retard yappy puppy, the chicken coop with no less than 6?7? chickens, and now the baby goat who needs to be bottle feed how many times a day? no, really, how many times have u had to remind me that i need to eat? what part of me starting a new job(yet again) and forgetting to even feed myself makes u believe that i’m capable of working all day and caring for your growing farm? and just to throw it out there, but u’ve never asked my 3 siblings to do an f-ing thing.

    New bossman:
    I asked for part time, I was thinking 28-32 hours, at 36 hrs a week, I may as well have asked for full time which you did offer me, but I didnt want… but for another 4 hrs a week I’d be full time and get the health insurance, dental insurance, whatever… sooo…. yeah.. we need to talk, and btw, if Im late to work(which I never will be, its a 15 min. drive to work, and I give myself 30 to get there) .. but if i were late I completely expect a verbal warning, and a write up if it happens again.. those are the rules, the expectations, so when I show up n sit in LATE.. guess what? that makes me ‘late’ bc im new n i dont have keys to open the store.. u know, where the time clock is? the time clock which is now going to show Im clocking in 10 minutes late bc YOU werent there to unlock the F-ing door, so I could get to the time clock.. so well played, sir, well played. wtf, just never in my life.. we need to talk n i hope I can find a way to keep my cool so I can keep my job

    Ex-bf a.k.a mr. boom-a-rang:
    Your boom-a-rang status has been revoked.
    You are now just a stick.
    A stick I have dislodged from my ass and no surprise, but (pun intended) I am really enjoying liberating sensation. A stick Im more than happy to throw as far away from me as possible. Seriously, Ive moved out of the state, let me go. You dont do anything but tell me what a complete “blah d blah, yakkity, smackity, whatever” I am when I tell u that I have no interest in getting back together or seeing u again.
    No, actually you asking me to drive up there to visit you when I dont want to see you by ACCIDENT, much less drive hrs and hrs to see you.. its hilarious, really its the best part of hearing from u again.. with all the other crap going on in my life, its great for a laugh.. but like everything else regarding you, its not worth the drama that comes with it.. kinda like drinking too much.. fun for a few hours but the hangover just isnt worth it… i drink once or twice a year, im not into the drama n prayin-for-death-morning-after-hangover… you on the other hand drink as often and as much as you can… u like the pain, the drama, keep it to urself or at least share it with someone else, im not interested, i havent dated in forever, years now.. n yeah, im lonely but YOU are no solution to that loneliness

    last, its past the TLDR mark.. yeah, ive been hitting my knees a lot lately, youre not real are you? your not listening.. not taking requests or accepting my unconditional surrender.. fine. seen my journal? i feel like ive now submitted my request verbally(prayer), in writing(my journal) and shit, now submitting a digital request released out into cyberspace.. yeah, im so lazy, didnt try smoke signals or a carrier pigeon.. whats wrong with me, right? so… u & i know what im doing during the hrs im given everyday.. so .. u know, right? whoever said u dont give ppl more than they can handle had damn well be burning in the 9th realm of hell for that load of horseshit. something’s gotta give, something’s gonna snap. its been trial by fire for a minute now… whoever wrote that ‘footprints in the sand’ needs to be burning in hell too… im really tired. cut me a fucking break already or fucking cut me down bc im not giving up. i’ll keep going if it kills me… then ur gonna have a problem, huh? cuz then we’ll have a chance to talk. of that i have no doubt.

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