It’s not that you have caused me pain, aside from the insensitive snide comments. The situation I am in causes the majority of my pain. I feel trapped, locked in a jail cell sometimes. Head vs heart, I sit on the fence afraid of failure in everything I do. It is my biggest flaw. Indecisiveness. I suppose I no longer have confidence in the decisions either makes. In the past if I follow my heart it ends in pain, but if I folow my logic I end up empty and dead inside. So I guess that is it. Do I choose the numbness of life and following the rules, or do I embrace joy and pain in balance? Well, in my experience, they are never balanced. Then again, I could simply have fallen into a black hole that promises some joy and pain, but I have only discovered an unrequited romance and am deluding myself in the beleif that I am worth caring for.
Well, I hope the asylum set out a special cap and gown for me because I am going to Insanity Graduate School in the fall!