I wrote a letter before about what I wanted when things were difficult for me and I felt like my world was falling apart. I am now in the process of picking up the pieces; I finally mourned, made amends, started a new page, and I am now focusing on all of the positives. I’d still hate to admit it, but I was wrong. I was wrong because I thought all I needed was to have you back to comfort me. I thought I needed your company to make things better for me. I thought I needed to see your face again, to feel that familiar warmth. I was wrong about all of it.
You see, the truth is, I didn’t need you. I wanted to have you back, but it wasn’t what I REALLY needed. My mental stability was suffering because of all the things that were going on with my life, and I was beating myself up for things that I had absolutely no control over. I wasn’t getting any sleep and when I did, I consistently woke up at random times during the night. Turns out, I didn’t need you to pick up the pieces for me. All I needed was myself, an I understand everything now. I needed to pick up the pieces. I needed to make myself happy again. I had to remember that I was happy before you came along, and it was wrong to put my happiness at the palm of your hands, knowing very well that people tend to be flakes. That’s what you are: you are a flake.
I’m starting to allow myself to be happy again. I will be happy again. I hope that wherever you are, I hope you can live with yourself.