• I love him

    by  • May 3, 2018 • * Safe for Work *, Love - Pure and Simple • 0 Comments

    I promised myself to stay away from this site but I just had to get this off my chest.

    He stopped the car, the first thought through my mind “Monna wa me o ke mo ratang, botshelo jwa me” and its a constant thought that crosses my mind whenever I see him. A spiritual acknowledgement of his importance and who he is in my life. He greeted me and I greeted him back but the words that I wanted to say to him from my heart were different from my greeting as I decided on “Hello Baby”. The words I truly wanted to say to him were “Dumela Mogatsaka, Rragwe ___ and ___, o tlhotse jang. Pelo ya me e ubauba boitumelo fa ke go bona”

    He gave me a lift and all the while we were talking all I could think of was wishing if I could just throw away in frustration the freaking fruit he had in his hand which he was eating, claim his lips as mine and tell him I love him.

    Why didnt I just do that? Cause I am not brave to do that

    My mind constantly goes on overdrive when I am with him

    All I see are targets

    And all those targets meant for destruction by kisses in love

    His head, his eyes, his lips, his neck, his ears

    To linger in love and worship of him

    To whisper over and over and over again “I love yous”

    But instead of my lips saying those words, my soul, my heart and my mind are the brave ones in this matter

    And I can honestly say without a shadow of a doubt all I feel is love overflowing from me for this man but I cant show it

    I can honestly say without a shadow of a doubt that if I had to give up my life for him I would

    I am afraid to say I love you to him

    I am afraid to act it

    For he is not mine

    What would he think of me

    What would he think of someone like me wanting to love him

    Love for this man

    Love for this man I have always loved

    And will always love

    The problem is I never know how to act around him

    He probably privately thinks I am weird

    Hell after getting out the car my back was all sweaty from my bodys temperature being high

    High with love and frustration for lack of being unable to express how I truly feel

    He gives me high blood pressure

    I mean I spent a few seconds with him and my body felt like it was in a sauna

    I didnt even want to admit I knew were his office was for fear of being seen as a stalker, how pathetic of me

    I believe he has the power of life and death over me

    And I love this man

    This man who when he haunts my dreams I wake up with my heartaching for fear of losing him that in a whisper I call to heaven for help to heal my heart

    Yes to him my soul, my very life does belong

    I love him

    Tyolo aka Rantings of a woman in love

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