How am I meant to explain why I want to call you each night? Or why I want to see you?
How am I meant to tell you exactly what I think of you; how your voice lights me up inside and I can’t help but smile especially when I can hear your smile. How your accent is my favourite accent in the whole world, how you have the best mind I’ve ever gotten to know; you’re so smart but so stupid because you can’t see what you’re doing to me.
How am I meant to explain to you exactly what I mean when I say ‘I like you’; I care about you, I want to listen to you talk, and joke, and flirt, and I want to listen to you sing, and I want you to be happy, and I want to give you everything that makes you happy, and I want to share that happiness, and… None of that would ever be enough.
What was I supposed to say when you mashed our names together. I’ve always been a fandom girl, mashing names of people I shipped. I don’t understand why you mashed our names together. All I know is when I saw the message, my heart jumped. Are you even aware of how often my heart jumps because of you?
Could you possibly imagine what last night did to me when you were singing? No.. You were just being you, playing the guitar and singing. It was my mind that went overboard, wanting to imagine that you were singing to me. But then you sang ‘Perfect’ and you told me that you sang that to girls you like… Does that mean I have a chance?
How was I meant to feel when you said I’m your favourite person because I’m so light and jokey and smart and brilliant? Because that’s not who I am… But it’s who you see.
How was I meant to feel yesterday when you said that the first time you’ve been jealous over a girl in 2 years was because of me? That I could be enough for you? I doubt it. You’re practically perfect in everyway and I’m just me.
How am I meant to tell you that I love you…