I have to be honest with myself in order to get closure and I also feel I have an obligation to be honest with you because I got mad at you for lying to me once. In some way, I’m attracted to you. Its more than a physical thing. You do something to me mentally and spiritually. I feel like you’re the man I need to be with, but I know I can’t. Even if you did care about me, I’m not sure you could ever have the capacity to love me, to be there for me or support me. Also you hurt me. You told everyone my son was your child and its painfully obvious that, thats not true but its scary that you would even say that. You damaged me car not badly but it was still messed up. It felt like you were punishing me and it must make me equally as insane but in a way… I liked it. Not you, fucking with my car but your intensity, your rage, your strength. In a way it was like… Mental forplay for me. The thought of you made me gush. I’ve had a million fantasies in my head about you taking me, in every way possible. Even now when I see you from time to time, It scares me when you look at me, it terrifies me when you talk to me but I like it. I’m afarid of what I might to if you ever got me alone. I knowI wouldn’t be in control. My body would yield to you automatically… And that can NEVER happen. So Im ending that chapter. It would be easier if you said you didn’t want me, called me a bitch or even apologized for the hurt you caused but I know you won’t. You can feel when Im thinking about you and you love the fact that you’re always on my mind. I hate how narcissistic you are. But this is over. Please let me go free.